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All of you know that I was engaged to marry someone not that long ago, I think about 4 days ago now. Well I had to call it off last night because the guy who had asked me made me go back into my little shell I have been in every time a guy breaks up with me or screwes me over while we are dating. Alot of things happened yesterday that made me end up in tears for a good 3 hours, now let me tell you that is a new record for me crying over a guy!!! So when he called me later that night I had to call it off.

Just something was so freaking wierd on the phone with him. I think he expected me to be all jolly, happy, excited, a.k.a. just be extremely in a good mood. Because he sure as hell sounded like that while I sat on my phone eyes wide because they hurt like crazy and used a monotone voice to reply to him. It wasn't happy, mad, sad, depressed, loving, etc. just monotone, showing no emotion what so ever. But he sat there with his cheery voice acting like nothing ever happened and we were continuing on.

That right there is some bull crap, excuse my language. I cried for 3 hours because he ******** tested me. He had his friends, with some friends doing it on their own testing my well being. That is so flippin insane I have never been tested before and i honestly do not like it. Yes that is the whole reason I went back to being in this little shell of nothing but myself and my emotions under control. Just how can I be all preppy about him saying a whole bunch of s**t that broke my heart worse then Seth did, Chris did, and Travis (Griff) did. My heart was actually wanting me to just stab it and I went worse into the suicidal thing then I have ever been in it!! So yea my heart felt like it just wanted to stop beating, and my beats were really hurting my chest.

Well my mom just got on to me to go ahead and get ready for school and clean my room up a bit before I head off. So I have to get off. That is a little information of what happened yesterday. Ask Ivan and Harra I was really really bad.

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Kat