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I find myself moving back into a fit of....sadness?...depression?...I don't know. Really though, I don't know, it's strange how I can't even decipher my own emotions. I don't get it. I haven't logged onto Gaia in...god knows how long, and I found myself reading my old journal entries, laughing at the bad grammar and spelling, yet at the same time looking into my past and wondering how a younger me could be more wise then the current me. I haven't made a journal entry here over a year, now I look back at my old ones and find myself taking the advise that I'd once given to others by having them read these damn things.

I'm sure no one reads these anymore...not even my friends now that I don't go on gaia, so I feel confident it's fine for me to say anything. I've been apathetic lately...is that the right emotion to call what I'm feeling? Well, there's one thing I know for sure right now....I really like this person ****. I know I don't tend to wright anything about my love interests, crushes, infatuations, people I like, what ever the ******** you want to call them, but it's something I need to say, even if it's just to myself. Written and posted, that will make it official....strange train of thought on my behalf.

Getting back to the matter at hand, I don't know why I feel like this; he's been flirting with me, showing some sort of an interest....I think it's just one statement he said before, "I'm taking a break from relationships." He told me that, almost like he knew I had an interest in him, and he was making sure I didn't ask him out....then why is he flirting with me?

The world shouldn't be hard to decipher, but for some reason it is.