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A Vampire's Love
Prologue and Chapter One
Prologue
"Hey. Wait up!" I call to my best friend Kai. My name is Kayuki Sou. I'm eighteen years old, and this is the story of how I fell in love with a Vampire.
Chapter One : A Vampire's Love
"Hey Kayuki! What's up?" Says Kai giving me a giant hug. "Not much. You?" "I'm just hanging out with my cousin. He's visiting for a while and then he's going to live with me for atleast two or three years." "What's your cousin's name?" I ask in curosity. "Oh. His name is Alexander. He's somewhere around here." "Ok. Well, see you later Kai." "See ya Kayuki!" I walk down a path in a forest. I sense a presense somewhere near me. I quickly turn around. "H...Hello? Who's there?" I look around everywhere. Then, that's when I first saw him. A tall figure leaning against a tree in a black cloak. His brown spiky hair sticking out in all directons. His eyes open, green eyes staring at me. The thing I knew, was that I should run. But I couldn't. I was staring into the eyes of a total stranger. What I didn't know was that I was staring into the eyes of a Vampire.
- by sakura_1258 |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 10/26/2008 |
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- Title: A Vampire's Love
- Artist: sakura_1258
- Description: My Vampire story. : A Vampire's Love.
- Date: 10/26/2008
- Tags: vampires love
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Comments (7 Comments)
- Cetra Angel Aerith - 12/03/2008
- Hmm... seems a little close to Twilight reading this chapter, but intriguing all the same
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- Missbunniswan - 11/30/2008
- The diologue is a bit confusing. Add some character in it. Like, "Hey Kayuki! What's up?" Kai trapped me unexpectedly in a big bear hug. I nearly gagged and her arms slid away. I took a second to retrieve my blance...Also I would write in past tense. So instead of "...Says Kai giving me a giant hug..." Try "...said Kai giving me a giant hug" Don't switch between past tense, future and present. It will draw the readers attention away quickly. You are good at painting mental images!
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- WolfDemon13X - 11/30/2008
- meh its been done before lol 5/5 still
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- sonnata moonlight - 11/30/2008
- write longer please!!
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- purple monkeys in a train - 11/30/2008
- agreed with avenged vampire86!!!! i want more!
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- Avenged Vampire86 - 11/30/2008
- And yeah, there are a lot of stories out about vampires, I even have my vampire series in the arenas, because of the whole Twilight thing. But, really, who doesn't love vampires.
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- Avenged Vampire86 - 11/30/2008
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It is a little bit short but still pretty good.
@ Inersha Blue: I really don't think it matters about the names or the subject as long as it's intersting and good. - Report As Spam
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