friendship

• Artist: The_dayseeker
• Description: here is a story about my freindship with my best freind. i would take a bullet for him anyday.
• Date: 07/17/2008
• Tags: freindship

i woke up in a hospital bed, and i couldent move. as soon as a doctor came in i asked" doctor, whats going on?" "dont you remember?" he asked checking my charts. " it all happend at school, youre freind was in a dissaggrement with some people and was almost shot- you jumped in front of the bullet just in time, youre lucky you didnt die.but, you will be fine in a month, so dont worry." he told me just before he left the room. now i think to myself that im happy to have taken that bullet. it would hurt me more to have my freind laying here instead of me.

Comments

[cookiepersonwuvsu]

i think the story is really sweet

[CRM96]

Lots of grammer errors. A doctor wouldn't ask "You don't remeber?." Good story plot but it could use more details.

[Master chocolateyum]

so sweet n nice i wold hav done the same! ur best friend is lucky to hav u as his best friend

[xNeon~Lightsx]

aww sweet i like it

[cooky tidbit]

I like the idea, but the reading would be a lot easier if you put the dialogues in separate paragraphs. It would also look better. And yes, you have to check the grammar before posting if you want to be taken seriously and have people commenting on what's really important, the story and the way you tell it.

[Xredd_crayonX]

Awww, that is so sweet. I think that the grammar should be a bit better, and you should describe more.
Great, though, 5 starts!

[CountingIvory]

The only thing I can mark you down on, really, is spelling and grammar. Other than that, though, I loved the concept, so I'll give you four stars. ^^