The search for a new home 1

• Artist: Fireblood90
• Description: This is my first real story so I don't expect it to be great I'll explain everything in the story I hope to make more stories so thanks for reading it
• Date: 08/01/2008
• Tags: space explosion scifi mystry search

Chapter 1 the beginning


"Hey Brian come check this out I think we got something" A strange man said keeping his eyes on the screen.
"Really Thomas what do you think it is?" The other man responded getting a look at the screen. "Incoming Transmission"a voice said making the halls in the station echo. "Brian how are we getting a transmission that things been broken for years!" The first man said getting a little frightened.

Suddenly the transmitter turned on. "Thomas Brian we've been watching you we see your planet and we think we'll destroy it destroy what you call earth but don't worry we'll seal you two up you'll live forever as long as you're in there." The voice said sending chills down there spines then the transmitter turned off.But they never saw the strangers face.

"We must be dreaming" Thomas and Brian said at the same time running quickly to the window. as they looked out the window they could see countless numbers of stars as they looked out in space,But it was to late because when they looked out they saw a explosion right where earth was.


End of part 1 hope you liked it part 2 coming soon

Comments

[Precious Light]

your grammar is wrong. and you need to put some periods or other stuff at the end. you connected two sentences together without even a conjunction. the idea's nice though.

[The Size of Your Fist]

you had some trouble with punctuation. you also never described where they were and the voice from the transmiter just blurted what is was planning out. you could have had some dialogue at that point. have Thomas and Brian ask questions to explain what the voice was planning, it would make the story more complex. and two words. Grammar Check