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Chapter One: A Boy With Powers
Luke opened his eyes and looked around. He was in his room, the room of a twelve year old boy called Luke Benson. He closed his eyes, hoping to get a bit more sleep, but it was no use. Luke sleepily got out of bed and walked into the hall. He opened the door to the bathroom and there was his seven year old brother Ben in the bath. Still with his pajamas on, playing with their yellow lab Lightning. "Ben!" Luke screamed. Ben looked up and saw Luke's furious expression. Ben ran to the doorway of the bathroom and ran through Luke's out-stretched legs. Luke sighed and slammed the door. Clenching his fists tightly he allowed his rage to fill him. Suddenly, the mirrors broke. The shampoo and conditioner fell to the floor. The water in the bath splashed around, covering Lightning. "Lightning!" yelled Luke. He grabbed Lightning and pulled him out. The shaking stopped. "Lightning, that must have been me doing all of that! I guess I got so angry that Ben was playing with you, old boy!" Luke said. "You have lots of power kid, you just gotta know how to use it. By the way, I'm not that old." Lightning said. And with that, they escaped out of the window, heading for the sewers.
Chapter 2: Nicholas Beck
Luke looked around. He was standing on a cobblestone road in Oxford, England with Lightning. "Ah!" Luke said, pointing at a manhole in front of him. "That's where we ought' to go, I can just feel it. " lightning padded forward and sniffed the manhole. "It's locked! Isn't that odd?" Lightning barked. Luke stepped forward, and gathered up his strength, he looked at the manhole, his dark brown hair brushing against his face. "Water!" He yelled. Suddenly, the manhole cover flew up, as well as a whole load of water. "Oops." Luke said. He plugged his nose and grabbed Lightning, jumping into the hole that lead to the sewers. Luke screamed as he fell fast into the dark abyss of the sewers, he yelled, "Air!" as fast as he could and floated down the rest of the way safely. "Whoa, I can do all that? Hmmmm, it's kind of dark... FIRE!" he said. A huge blast of fire went forward, sending Luke flying backward. Luke watched as the fire went through the tunnels, and finally, it stopped. The fire turned into Luke's direction, and suddenly started coming towards him. As it came closer, it illuminated the face of a man, probably 18 years old. The figure holding Luke's fire stopped. " I'm Nicholas Beck, 18 in age, from America, and I have powers like you. There's this girl here too, claims to be called Jamie Johnson, 11, and she has powers too. She has an Australian accent too. I'll take you to her." the man said. Luke was speechless, but he nodded slowly. "I'm Luke Benson, from England, here. I'm the age of 12, and my dog here is called Lightning. He talks." Luke said slowly. Nicholas nodded and pulled out water from the sewer to put the fire out. Nicholas gestured for Luke to follow him, and they set off. They turned around many corners and stuff, but finally they reached a small cave melted into the sewer. There, sitting down, was a black haired girl holding a white kitten. "Jess!" Luke yelled. The girl stared at him, and smiled. "Luke, your time has come." she said, and she had spoken the truth.
- by Ragweed Junior |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 08/30/2008 |
- Skip
- Title: They Are Rising
- Artist: Ragweed Junior
- Description: This is a book I am writing, it's about a boy who is born with powers destined to stop the Manoraks, and he goes on this journey and meets a girl, and he learns to control his powers and stuff. It is very similar to Susan Cooper's book, The Dark Is Rising.
- Date: 08/30/2008
- Tags: rising lukebenson lightning nicholasbeck
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Comments (7 Comments)
- The Garden of Eatin - 01/02/2009
- um well okay
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- Ragweed Junior - 08/31/2008
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I want you guys to vote for what should happen in chapter two, which will come tomorrow. So, comment on what you want to happen.
(a) Finds girl in sewers
(b) gets robbed
(c) finds someone who can train him how to control his powers
(d) all of the above
Please rate this as high as you can, because I really want to be at the top sad - Report As Spam
- ch1ps0h0y - 08/30/2008
- i largely agree with Musy Moo. You might want to work on punctuation as well, but practice makes perfect! smile (hint: take a look at how people speak in books and the punctuation they use at the end)
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- Jackadelia - 08/30/2008
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WARNING MAY SEEM HARSH
Your writing is very repetitive and and there is very little description. Remember that thesauruses and adjectives are your best friends!
Also it is best to spell out your numbers unless they are really high. This makes it seem a lot more professional.
On top of all of that I'm afraid your plot is very, very cliche. My advice on this matter is try to take a new and original twist on this. However that might be kind of hard. All I can say is good luck and keep at it! - Report As Spam
- DRxSEXYxSTARBURSTx - 08/30/2008
- that was very interesting i can't wait for chapter 2.....*^_^*
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- CoolHottieBlondie - 08/30/2008
- Very interesting
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