Time, is something that’s a mystery. It moves us. It changes us. It grows us and teaches us.
But what about those of us who do not have a change to be moved by time? What about the ones who have an eternity to live? What do they do? Only they could tell us that story. As for me thought…
I am one of those people. One of those everlasting beings stuck in desperate solitude, locked away from the eternal essence known as time. My fate, is something that I can not tell you. For, I haven’t even found it myself. Who knows what kind of secrets my life is hiding from me? Well, not even I can tell you that all at once. All I truly know is my past. And where ever that leads to is as good a guess as it is for me.
But, like all stories, mine, like all stories, has its own beginning. And I if you have read this so far, I am sure you want to know that as well.
So then, let me warn you, if you read further you will know my dark secrets. Know the horrifying thing I have become. But in the end, I am what I am. Who really knows? Well I do, and if you want to know more, then please, keep reading on.
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I remember my youth just as anyone would remember there own. It was full of love, hope, and joy. Filled with youthful dreams I shared with all my class mates. God, I miss those times with such a passion! I still remember the first day that led to my dark new existence.
It all started when I entered my First High School.
I remember the name too, it was Fullington High School in a small town known as Fullington of course. We were the proud hosts of the Fullington Bulls. One of Illinois finest schools and High School’s.
Many students were in the school. I was one of three hundred Freshman starting school that year. Oh the year itself was full of anticipation, but god, I was so excited to finally begin my adult life. I figured since I was now in High School I could get away with a lot more. And I could do so many new things! Oh how foolish I was thinking that Cigarettes were going to become my number one addiction those many years ago. Oh, if only back then I knew what I now did back then. I would have done so many things differently.
You see, unlike most Freshman, I was a social outcast. I was a believer in Science. And I had a plan for a new type of engine, one that ran on electricity. Sure, back then it cost just a measly five dollars to fill a tank of gas for your family’s car, but It was so exciting at the same time!
But many of my fellow class mates thought I was nothing but a geek, a nerd, and someone that deserved to be picked on and bullied.
Oh how I hated those Greasers. Always so cool with their leather jackets, and gelled back hair.
And how they hated me.
They had taken my one step into my adult life and had ruined it.
I remember what they had done too. They had waited until I was near a group of female cheer leaders, though back then boy’s weren’t allowed to join the cheer leading squads back then. I was walking past when they had cornered me against the lockers, and laughed as they pulled down my pants and began to mock what god had given me back then. And god, that had ruined me for the next four months.
It was such a horrible time for me. All the tormenting during that period may have lent to my later lashing out. But, still, I had done nothing wrong to anyone. Yet they all pointed and laughed at me. But why? Was it because I was naturally smarter then them? Was it because I didn’t have a leather jacket? God, how I hated my parents during that time.
My father repeatedly looked down at me and frowned. “Son, if you don’t stand up to them, they will never stop!”
“Your father is right, a girl likes a man who can defend himself.” My mother had said to me as she tended one of my many wounds during one of the four months of hell.
Most seniors who weren’t a part of the Greaser clique though, I did get along with. And atleast a few of them had gone through what I had been going through and assured me soon they would lose interest in me. But most of them didn’t.
Most of those Greasers liked the idea that I hadn’t fought back during any of my attacks. And they enjoyed cornering me and beating me, taking their frustrations out on me. Mainly because back then I believed violence fought with violence solved nothing. Oh how foolish I was. Entering my adult life not fighting back. Even now I snicker at that thought. Frowning at my old picture, that hideous face I once had.
I was your average geek alright. I had the glasses, the buttoned up shirt, and the braces back then. And god, I looked horrible.
It was just the way I liked to look back then. It felt good, and it reflected my intelligence. Too bad though that it had made me a huge target. I human with a bulls eye in their forehead.
You see, my freshman year at Fullington was always that way. Constant tormenting, beatings, and girls laughing at me for my god given gift. Oh how I hated them all.
Sophomore year though was different. Now that I had gone through the Freshman beating phase, I was now a part of the High School. I survivor, as most who had transferred into home schooling called me. But why did I stay? I could tell you right now why.
It was Amanda.
God how I loved Amanda. I had known her since the first grade. And we were best friends until as all people do, time caught up with her and made her into a woman. And god she was a beauty. The perfect face, that perfect little body hidden under her poodle skirt and pouf dress. God she was gorgeous, and I wanted to prove to her that I had what it took to make her mine. But in the end, that wasn’t even part of the agenda. And how that tore my heart to pieces scarred me for the rest of my natural life.
I remember that day so vividly, it will always be burned into my memory.
I had been walking through the halls, one of the many ‘Survivors,’ of the schools freshman year. I had begun to dress differently. I no longer wore such large, thick rimmed glasses. Instead I traded them in for thin framed glasses that fit my face, though they could not hide the braces still. You see, back then braces were a five year arrangement, and I was part of the fourth year’s. My clothes were better as well, I was now wearing a normal T-Shirt and a normal pair of jeans. I just blended in. Though, I was still known as the brainiest and geekiest kid in high school. And god I hated that.
Anyhow, while I was walking down the hall I saw her. Amanda, waving to me with a bright smile. Moving towards her with a bewildered expression since we hadn’t spoken in three years, I moved in carefully, not knowing if it was a trap or not. But, how was I to know that? This was Amanda! The one girl who said she would never hurt me! Smiling as I met with her, she moved her hand up to my shoulder and pulled me into a friendly hug as she sighed softly, “Oh Evan! How I missed you!” She said with a soft smile looking me in the face. “You look so different with smaller glasses I didn’t notice you!” She said as she stood there with a smile.
“You look great as well Ames,” I said, calling her the childhood name I called her when we knew each other. “How long has it been?”
“Oh jeez, I think about, three years?” She asked with a light giggle, as if I didn’t know that already. Hell, I was the brain of the class back then. And maybe I still am.
“Wow, and Like I said, you are gorgeous!”
“Thanks Evan,” she said with a casual flick of her hair. “Say, you got any plans Friday? it’s the annual Under The Sea Dance, and us girls choose our dates!”
Blinking, confused and dazed, I couldn’t believe it! She wanted me to go? That was fantastic! “Well…No…Maybe…” I choked out confused, then snapped myself out of it, “I mean, I guess I’m free,” I finally managed as I calmed my mind down.
“Well, want to go with me?” She asked, beaming hope in her eyes!
“Of course I would,” I said as I acted as cool as I could. Then again, thinking about it, the way I acted cool was so off beat. Standing un easily in the cool side of the hall, being asked to the dance by one of the most beautiful girls in school, I must have looked like a fish out of water. Or more like a mouse in front of a cat ready to pounce.
“Great, pick me up around six alright?” She said then turned and disappeared into the halls again, dragged along by her friends. God I even loved the way she looked when she was taken away from me. But my short success was cut short by a simple phrase.
“Wrong side of the hall, loser,” Eric, my main tormentor during my Freshman year had said.
Moving back to my un cool side of the hall, I sighed and shook my head. I knew one day he would get what would come to him, and god, how could I know how horribly right I was?
But that Friday was so magical. It was so fantastic. Well, until the dance that was.
Now you see, Amanda knew well about the war of hearts and how to play a mans heart against him. She had been so sweet to me in my youth, so caring, then in my early adult life, she had turned sour. I didn’t deserve to have her, and I should have known. I had nothing that I could give her for her love, or perhaps nothing she wanted or she already had. To this day I press my lips to her picture, treasuring our childhood, but I now feel nothing towards her. Memories are like that. You remember your first love, and then you just lose it. It’s a sad business, but it makes you who you are in the end.
Now, I had arrived on time to pick her up for the dance. And it was wonderful. Her father, Mike, had welcomed me back into their lives with open arms. He seemed to have missed my company and the talks that I had with him. I was always so much smarter then I should have been at my age. Perhaps that’s why Amanda didn’t like me in the end. Her mother was so kind and sweet. Always offering me something to eat or drink. Now, I had been talking to them for nearly an hour about my newest idea, limbs for people who had lost their own, made out of machinery. Her father of course was fascinated, her mother was distant, pondering how much money one could make from that idea. After all, a lot of people had lost their limbs in the war, and were using simple bars for legs back then.
But when Amanda came down those stairs, the room fell silent. I couldn’t believe I was taking her to the dance. She was dressed in a beautiful midnight blue gown, accenting her glorious blue eyes. The Gown was simple, yet covering all the right places. But even so, you could tell what kind of figure was hidden underneath it, and boy that made my teenage hormones go wild.
Standing next to her for a few minutes as her parents took pictures of the happy ‘couple’, she seemed a little distant, though she did acknowledge me when it was necessary. “Evan, we’ll be late if we don’t hurry now!” She said with a bright smile, as if she were hiding something from me. But I didn’t notice that, I was happier then I had been in the last two years.
On the way to the dance in my fathers Cherry Red Ford, we talked about the last two years. She wasn’t phased by all the torment I had been through, which was probably a bad sign, but as usuall I had not noticed that hint. When we arrived the school was decorated as if we were under the sea. Bubbles flowing around the school, what looked like coral and sea weed were covering the halls. I was amazed how the school had been transformed.
When we entered though, one of the horrible things about my past unfolded.
Standing, Eric waited for me and Amanda. At first I thought he was going to ask for forgiveness for what he had done to me during my freshman year, and half of my sophomore year. But it wasn’t like that. Moving to him, Amanda took her place, offering him a firm hug and kiss before looking at me with a smug grin. “Sorry Evan, but I’m going to the dance with Eric,” she said with a light laugh.
Now you see, that alone had shattered my heart, but what happened after that was horrible. The thugs that had attacked me constantly during the last year in the half moved in, pinned me to a wall and began to beat me. Now, normally I would have been fine with the beating, if I had not been so happy. For the first time I tried to fight back, I was finally pushed beyond my limits, but they were still too strong for a weak young man to handle. I had spent my entire savings on my tuxedo, hoping to impress Amanda. Yet she hadn’t been, and nearly stood by and watched as Eric and his friends beat and tore my clothing apart.
Now, normally they would have just left me there to cry and wobble away home. But tonight was different for some reason. Eric stood and walked to his Amanda, taking her into his arms then walked off to the dance. Though Amanda looked confused, she didn’t mind being taken to the dance to have her night of fun.
But Eric’s thug friends had other ideas. Instead they picked me up and dragged me to their car. I’m not sure what kind of car it was, but the back seat where I was, was sort of comforting. I thought for a moment they had felt sorry for me, and decided to drag me home. But how wrong I was.
The drive took far too long for them to take me home. By the time the door opened I was nearly unconscious. Un able to move. Nothing. Being dragged out forcefully was painful enough. But when they found the right spot, they once again began to beat me, but more fiercer then ever before. I even noticed a wooden base ball bat being used against me. Breaking my bones with each swing. Then I saw pliers, and a crooked tool I didn’t recognize. I screamed out when they tore out my braces, tearing out a few teeth. God I was glad it was over when they left me there to die.
That’s all I wanted then. All I wanted was to be left for dead and not be noticed any more. Who would miss me? Surely not Amanda, the girl who stood by while the thugs began there assault and attempt to ruin me for life, or end my life.
But then, something happened. I felt lighter, my head being raised from the dirt, then her face came into view. God that face, I will always remember it. She was so pale. So beautiful, Amanda was nothing to this woman. Her golden eyes shone as she watched me sadly. It seemed she had seen the entire thing, but had done nothing to help. Of course not, someone so beautiful and fragile would have probably been beaten then raped in front of me as I watched. That’s what those thugs would have more then likely done to me to show that I was nothing but garbage in there eyes, and so were the people who would try to help me.
But then she spoke, her voice so much like a chorus, so beautiful, so silken. Like listening to god himself. “Shh…” She whispered to my ear, “It’s all right now,” she said as calmly as she could, as if to sooth a crying child. When she looked into my eyes again, I saw a ferocity I never knew before. As if she were to tear into a piece of meat like a lion would. “Child, do you want to live?” She asked, so calm so silent, so chorus like again. Then it hit me, she was offering me a chance to live! But at what cost? Would she help me become a better person? Would she become the girl I had always wanted? “Child, say the words, and you will live, and become stronger then you have ever imagined.”
Sure, at the time that sounded strange enough. No matter how beatings I had taken, I never came out stronger. But, she somehow made it seem possible, like she knew something I didn’t. How foolish I was to doubt her. Watching her as my life’s essence faded slowly into nothing ness, I thought to myself. If I were to get stronger, then I could teach Eric and his thugs a lesson. I could finally be the one beating them for once. And oh how I wanted my revenge for what had happened tonight. Coughing up a bit of blood as I thought, I closed my eyes. Soon, I came to an answer. Of course I wanted to live. Of course I wanted to be stronger! Who didn’t? “Y…yes,” my voice choked out, sounding so distant.
She was so calm, so beautiful. She didn’t even think twice when she did what she had done next. She laid me calmly on the ground, tracing those frozen fingers along my skin before lowering her head, baring her beautiful white teeth.
Then I felt it. She had bit me! Her teeth had sunk into my skin! Not once, not twice, but twice in each arm, leg, and even my torso and neck. Sure, at that time I thought I had encountered one of those cannibals you saw in those movies in class. But then something else had hit me.
Fire! I was on fire! All over was starting to burn! I was so weak though, that I couldn’t scream out. Though I did groan out in pain. Then the ground left my body, and I felt the rushing of air. Was she carrying me? Was I flying from what she had done to me? Or did I die? No, I still had a pulse, and I could feel it. It was pushing this fire deeper into my body. Igniting each piece of me into a raging inferno! God I wanted to die so bad at that moment!
But I never did.
This endless torment seemed to never end. I didn’t even notice when she had Laid me down on a bed. Who’s bed I would never know. I couldn’t even tell how long I had been out. Or if that beautiful woman who had bit me was still there. All I knew was that I was on fire. Every muscle, joint, bone was burning in me. And I could not even move to escape. Then I felt my mouth blistering. As if new teeth were growing in place of the ones that had been torn out of my mouth. God, that was so painful. It was just so horrible to put me through. What had that woman done to me? What did she mean by I was going to be stronger? Was this me growing stronger? Or was she just torturing me more? Just a part of the thugs who had nearly killed me.
God I wanted it to end. Then it did. It was so sudden I had no idea what had happened.
The fire that burned inside of me for ages, had suddenly been sucked inward towards my heart.
Then there was silence. I wasn’t breathing. I had no pulse. I felt different. Had my body finally given out on me and succumb to the fire? God, I wish that was the case now. But as my eyes opened I knew that wasn’t the case.
It was amazing. For the first time in my life I could see everything. And I mean I saw everything. I saw the way dust was falling. I saw every grain of wood above my head connecting to the roof. And my hearing was better as well. Everything was so different. But I couldn’t hear the woman who had saved me. She was no where to be found. As I stood, I felt strange. I had merely thought of sitting up, and I was. I was faster now as well. Looking down, I noticed my skin. It was so pale. So white, so ghost like. God what had happened to me? It looked like I had taken that woman’s skin and decided to wear it for Halloween and go as her!
But no, this was my skin, I could tell immediately. But I didn’t feel any heat or anything. I felt the air. I could feel the dust falling on me. It was so strange. I had never experienced anything before that could describe the way I now felt.
Standing just as swiftly as I had sat up, I looked about the room. It seemed so strange, I could still see everything so clearly. It was starting to scare me a bit. But then I wasn’t scared. She had promised me I would live and be stronger. Is this what she meant? All my senses better tuned to a new extreme?
Then I saw it. A mirror. I had to see the damage those thugs had left on my body. I had to know what I would look like being crippled for the rest of my life. But I saw something that scared me. I saw a stranger staring at me from the other side of the mirror.
He was so god like! He had no shirt on, and was extremely pale. There was no sign of any skin disorders I had. He had perfect white teeth. A perfect frame. He was just so, beautiful! He was just like the woman I had seen in the forest. But, he was copying me. Every movement I made he had done in precise motion. Then I put my hand to the mirror and knew it was me. I knew it was a mirror because if it were an open window like I thought it was, I would have felt his hand grab mine. But this was me! How could it be? I was the most un attractive young man in school! Now after the fire, I was so beautiful! I was a god! Oh how I would rub this in Amanda’s face.
Then I noticed my eyes. God they were scary. So red, so angry. Looking so hungry.
Then it hit me. My throat was on fire again! God I was thirsty. Yet, with the dripping water coming from the sink near by, I didn’t feel the thirst for that. I wanted something more, alive! God that was so wrong! But before I could think, I was out of the small house in the woods where I had been taken.
Still no sign of that woman. Perhaps she did this to me and left, and that was the case.
Saved me then left me to learn what had happened by myself.
Well I could care less at the moment. That thirst was consuming me. Driving me mad! Running through the forest, I was shocked that when branches hit me, it felt like they were caressing me instead of breaking my skin or hurt me! I was running faster then anyone I had ever seen before! Trees, bushes, animals, and plants sped by me as if I were a bat out of hell! And god I like it!
Then I found what I had been searching for. Staring dead ahead as I stopped, a large Brown Bear was staring at me, standing up right in a defensive posture as if I were its predator! How absurd! But oh it felt so right. And it was over faster then I could blink.
I had ran forward, hitting the bear so hard that it had fallen. Then my mouth was on its neck, my teeth tearing away at its flesh to get to what I wanted. Its blood.
Then when it was over I realized something. What I had become. And oh god it scared me. I was out in the day, in the sun. But my pale skin nearly gleamed like a person who hadn’t seen the sun in months. I wasn’t on fire. And my thirst was gone. I had just drank blood! I was faster! I was stronger!
I was a vampire!
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