• Cheesy Poofs


    Poke.

    “What the Hells are these things?” Hiei muttered, poking the fluffy orange balls again. They smelt familiar, kind of like those Cheetos Yusuke had at his apartment, only a different shape entirely. Does that mean they’re edible?

    Poke, poke.

    Only one way to find out…

    Picking one of the puff balls out of the bowl, the fire-demon popped it into his mouth. At first, he didn’t taste anything at all, but after a few seconds, the cheesy substance melted onto his tongue. “… They’re the same thing,” he muttered, tossing another into his mouth.

    Two Minutes Later…


    After finishing the bowl, and becoming addicted to the tiny puffs, Hiei went in search for more. Now the house was completely deprived of the delicious little treasures… and Cartman finally comes home, immediately in search of his Cheesy Poofs.

    “WHERE DA HELL ARE MAH CHEESY POOFS, DAMMIT?!” is his greeting after stomping through the house. Hiei, after flitting behind the couch, poked his head up and feigned an innocent look.

    “What are cheesy poofs?”

    “DAMN YOU, YOU ATE MAH POOFS! AH KILL YOU, b*****d!!” Pulling out a machine gun from under the coffee table, Cartman begins shooting the couch to bits, but Hiei had already moved. Katana in hand, he advanced on Cartman like a crazy pervert would on the goddesses of beauty.

    “I KNOW YOU KNOW! WHERE CAN I FIND MORE OF THE PUFF BALLS?!” Cartman shot at his sword, somehow knocking it from Hiei’s hand. Hiei pulled out his own machine gun from under the remains of the couch, chasing Cartman around the living room. Bullets went back and forth between them, both getting shot in numerous places, but still running around like lunatics.

    “WHAT’D YOU DO WITH MAH CHEESY POOFS, JACK a**?!”

    “WHERE THE HELLS ARE YOU HIDING THE REST OF THEM AT?! I KNOW YOU HAVE MORE, MIDGET MAN!”

    “WHO YOU CALLIN’ MIDGET, MIDGET?!”

    “GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!”

    All of a sudden, Kenny walks in the door and gets shot. Because he has to die in every episode.

    “Oh my God, you killed Kenny!”

    “You bastards!”

    “SHUT THE HELL UP!!” BANG! And there they go. Then Hiei and Cartman spotted something near the still totaled couch. A small, fluffy ball of orange, innocently sitting there, mocking them for not seeing it sooner. “MINE!”

    They both leapt for it, but somehow, the poof grew legs, arms and tiny eyes and a mouth. It shrieked, running away from them. Infuriated, they gave chase, shoving each other away and shooting at each other every chance they got.

    Half An Hour Later…


    Both were panting by now, still giving a half-hearted chase after it. But the cheesy poof had enough.

    “STOP FREAKING CHASING ME YOU FREAKS!” The two boys stopped, blinking dumbly at it. In its tiny hands appeared a fork and a knife; butter knife, mind you. “HOW ABOUT I EAT YOU INSTEAD?!”

    “OMFG, RUN AWAY!” But they were to slow for the puff ball. In a matter of seconds, it grew at least thirty times its size and engulfed them in one bite. Then it shrunk back to what it once was, burping slightly.

    “S’cuse me.”

    “… Pfft, I can’t believe it! Hiei got eaten by a… a… HA!” Yusuke burst out laughing, clutching his sides. Kurama, who was sitting beside him on the sofa, was covering his mouth with one hand and holding the remote in another. Eyes closed tightly, not being able to hold it in anymore, Kurama ended up on the floor with Yusuke.

    After getting over their fit, they both sat up, panting and wiping tears of mirth from their eyes. Then Kurama thought of something. “Hey… Yusuke.”

    “Nani?”

    “How do you think Hiei got in there, anyway?”

    “I… dunno.”

    Silence. Then, “You want to watch it again?”

    “We can’t. That was only on once.”

    Kurama hit the eject button on the remote, making a tape pop out of the VCR. Standing, he went over and took it out, waving it slightly for emphasis. “You think I’m an idiot? I just had to record that.” Yusuke laughed again.

    “You’re evil incarnate.”

    “Of course. And I’m damn proud of it. What do you say we go round everyone up to watch it?”

    “Hell yeah, let’s go!”

    Meanwhile, in the cheesy poof's stomach…

    “IT’S A CANIBLE CHEESY POOF! LOOKIT ‘EM ALL IN ‘ERE!”

    “MINE!!”

    --

    And that’s the end, folks. Hope you enjoyed