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    dear journal:

    i'll never forget the loneliness. i feel it always seems to creep up on me when its least suspected i don't have realy any one but my self and my shadow and even then it some times feels as though my shadow has even turned its back on me. but what can i say for a homeless kid like me the only true excepting place for me is in a old theater that had been shut down many years ago. i suppose its the only place i can call home. it has broken a torn out seating and a shreded screen and a realy small lobby that only contains a small fridge i happend to have found. that i us as a storige but else whise it is my palice the one place i can dream that me jearmy martan can rule the world. i no it sounds pathitic but when you are alone as i am an imagenarie friend doesn't hurt. i'm 16 and all but i can still dream i shall stand strong for that is the only way for me to make it and i believe that the grass is greener on the other side for when i am 18 i can be truely free to live with out the worries of being found out and then put away in some foster home. i could never live with strangers who parade around like they are my parents. for no one shall ever take the place of my parents who have died so long ago leaveing me in a world that is crual and unfair. i was only 10 when my parents were murdered. i can remember it so clearly my parents chought a rober sneeking around are house and the robber just shot them like they were nothing the rober didn't even hesatait he just pulled the triger i can remeber mom crieing and pleading to spare her life. i was curled up in a ball in my room when i heard thier death i will never forget their screams and the sound of the gun pearcing the night then the dead silence after weirds it was almost to barable that i almost screamed my lungs out and gave away my hiding so i held it in and from then on i never spoke to any one. i was passed around like a doll from foster home to foster home and yet i still refuse to talk so they gave up on me. they tried to put me in a mintal worried but i ran away for i new they would never understand no one will for i trust no one some times i don't even trust my self.
    stareing at a cracked meor in one of the bathrooms i stare at my reflection and all i could see was a boy who has been broken for so long that all hope has been lost for him i look beep into the boys green eyes searching for an answer that i no is not there but yet i countinue to search. i run my fingers through my shaggy black hair that screams hair cut. and i cuntinue stare at my pathitec reflection.