• I sat up panting in my bed. What the hell was that? I curled up into a tiny ball on my bed on rocked back and forth, the sensation was soothing. I was ok, there was no…no…no what? What was my dream about again? I couldn’t remember. There was a guy… with blond hair…and was that it? Why was my heart pounding so fast, then? I sighed. I had been having these dreams a lot lately. Before it was only about once or twice a month, but ever since the February before my fifteenth birthday… I’ve been worrying about my sanity. It’s towards the end of May now (my birthday is on the 22nd), and they are still occurring.
    In my dreams I sometimes see the past, or the future, or even signs as to what I should do. I very rarely remember the actual dream, but the feeling that comes with it is always very strong. I looked in the mirror and sure enough, the face that stared back at me was pale and scared. My beautiful gold-speckled green eyes were wide with fear. I brushed away the bangs that covered my acne-covered forehead and splashed cold water on my face. I relaxed immediately. Water does that to me, unless you make me swim in it, or do the unforgivable… push me off the diving board. I brushed my awkward-length light brown hair into place, not that it actually stayed there for long. My hair was naturally curly, or wavy if I got lucky, but never straight. At least my bangs were ok, and sometimes the waviness was cute.
    I stuffed my breakfast into my mouth and tried to forget about all of those tests I forgot to study for yesterday. Oh, crap! It was almost 7:40 and I still had to brush my teeth, do my makeup and wake up mom. I quickly shook my mom awake and told her that she had to drive me in 20 minutes, and rushed off to get ready. My parents have been divorced for a couple of years now. I live with mom while my two sisters stay with dad. I love my mom and I know how hard she has always worked for us. My mother is one of the most patient, kind-hearted people I know, but even she will blow up sometimes. I shudder to think of what kind of mother I would make one day, I don’t particularly like children.
    The divorce was hard on my mom and I think the only reason she got through it was because when I saw her sad I would get close to tears. Now though, she does it for herself, not me. I finished adding a touch of blush to my cheeks and rushed to get my backpack. 7:55! Done with time to spare! Ha, that was me, even when I was late, I was early (without my sisters to slow me down). Actually, in my opinion, the divorce was great! No more constant arguing, no annoying Lilly and Nicky; all that was there was my own peacefull bliss shared with my mom. I think the only downside was seeing my mom so upset, but once she got used to it, life was good.
    We were in the car at 8:00 with time to spare so we just sat there awhile listing to music. This song started playing. I don’t know what it was called but it was it kept saying the words “don’t worry, be happy” it was all I could do to keep from crying. That was my song. My main goal in life was always to be happy. I always wanted to forget all of my problems and live in bliss; my dad always sang that song to me. These things were my mottos, my way of life: “don’t worry, be happy”, “Live in the moment”, and “go with the flow”, that was the way I rolled, regardless of what anyone else thought.
    “Renna Levine,” my homeroom teacher called. “Here,” I said, feeling dead. There was a flu or something going around school, and my best friend Angie was sick. School sucked for me. Over 300 kids and I only had 7 friends; I guess you could say I wasn’t exactly in the “in” crowd. It wasn’t that I was ugly, or stupid, or super-smart, or anything. If I had to describe myself from the point of view of others I would say anti-social and unapproachable. I didn’t have to try to get good grades. I could get a hundred in science with reading the lesson once and never looking at it again, same with reading, and Spanish, and language arts.
    I hated studying, and before my parents got divorced I did the bare minimum to keep my parents happy, but my dad was the strict one when it came to school, so I knew if I didn’t get straight A’s my mom would get the blame. She came home tired at 3:00 every day. I let her rest while I did the homework and put the dinner to heat up. I didn’t want her to worry about me. I could take care of myself. I guess people didn’t like me because I guess they thought I acted like a snob. The truth is when I’m around people I have no idea how I should act, so I just shut up, and before long I am forgotten. I love to read and draw, so most of the time that’s a good excuse.
    Right now I was working on a sketch of a sorceress. She had brown hair and green eyes like mine, and she carried a long brown staff decorated with burgundy ribbons the same color of her dress. She looked a lot like me, except her features were harder. She looked sadder and more filled with hatred than I had ever been. She was running down a dark corridor and a blond man with blue eyes and a jeweled sword was following her, ready to strike. The man looked like a boy in my class, Eddie.
    That boy melted my heart. He was nice and super funny and every time I looked at him I felt a strong rush of compaction, but (of course) he was popular and loved by many. He didn’t need me around to bother him; I doubt he even knew my name. Homeroom rushed by and all of his friends went ahead to there classes. I picked up my heavy load of books and was just about to leave when he called out to me. “Renna, wait!” he caught up with me quickly. I was shocked that he even knew my name and now he wanted to talk to me!? “Look, um, sorry to bother you and everything, but I heard you were really good at science, Renna. Um, Mr. Steinberg says that if I don’t pass this semester, I’m going to have to go to summer school so… I was wondering if maybe you could…” His hands were in his pockets and he was looking at the floor. He was actually embarrassed! How could this popular, confident, boy possibly swallow his pride and ask a geek like me to tutor him!?
    I was busy after school. I had art club, anime club, volleyball, and badminton. Not to mention all of my homework and chores around the house, but he just looked so cute, and he actually needed me. I felt a rush of compaction again and said ,” I’d be happy to!”