"4:54". The light blue numbers that appeared on the digital time keeper on the bed post slowly pulsated as a young man of no more than nineteen winters slept restlessly in the tan bed that lay against the small tower that housed the time keeper. Many things seemed to rotate in this young man's mind, some dreams and revisited memories left a pleasant after taste in his mind's eye, like the sweet after taste of a child's favorite fruit juice, or the sweet after taste that strawberries leave behind after one swallows the delectable inverted fruit. Others were dark and menacing, like a terrible storm that seemed to rage for hours and hours, threatening to devour whatever was left of its hostages' vessel of transportation or residence. With each passing minute, the memories and emotions that the young man had worked so hard to keep in tact and locked up seemed to swell and press against the tiny cracks in the mental barriers that he had so painstakingly erected. As each crack grew in size, and more pieces broke off, the dreams also grew in intensity: An overcast day. Shutters closed. Tears being shed as words that should not have been spoken were said to try and curb the growing anxiety that resonated from both parties. The pleading for more time, a chance to figure things out. To go back to the way things used to be, even if for just a moment...The agreement and subsequent actions that followed....Each memory rushed past the young man like ethereal specters that haunted the very corridors of his mind.
There were no words that could describe what the man was feeling. Various emotions kept resurfacing as he thought of the person that had held his heart for so many months who now lay with another. So many things seemed to rush past him. So many things..."How could this have happened? How could I not have seen this coming? Why did I not go over there when my near-brothers got into that accident? I could have done away with the other one, and chosen her instead...Why did she not tell me this was happening? Why? Why? WHY?!" These questions and more resounded through the emptiness of his mind, forcing all other thoughts from him. With such sorrow, there also came great anger, bitterness, and a host of other negative emotions that he had not felt for quite some time. Anger for her changing her attitude around him, changing her very schedule so she would not have to see him anymore. Bitterness for the choices that were made, and the promises that were also said that seemed to mean nothing now. Jealous, oh bitter sweet jealous, it had changed the polite demeanor of him to something that should not exist. His heart slowly slipped into darkness as these emotions rattled against the very foundations of his soul, where the most primal of instincts housed themselves, and where all the bottled up fury lay sleeping as well.
Was there a need to bottle everything up anymore? Was there a need to hide his own selfishness and other negativity? Was there a need for him to hide anything anymore? Again, the boy tossed to and fro in his slumber, wrestling with these conflicting emotions and thoughts. Thoughts that led him to conclusions that would ultimately push what he wanted even farther away, while at the same time damning whatever was left of the emotions that she held for him.
"You have no need to worry..." A slick voice commented in his mind. "She ssstill wantsss you. You can tell by the way she ssstaresss at you that she ssstill doesss."
"Yes, you have no need to fret over such trivial matters as a bond with another." A second, more oily voice added. "Those bonds are so very easy to break. It would be a simple matter for one such as you to sever those weakly constructed things.."
"Yesss, thossse thingsss you humansss call relationshipss are worthlesssss in the long run." The first voice said, laughing darkly. "You yourssself have ssseen the resssult of that. You finally opened up to sssomone and look what happensss? She walksss away becausssse she thinksss she'sss sssecond bessst in your heart. She letssss another take her and she buriessss all emotionsss for you."
"That is true. You are a nobody. There is no need for you to exist, you pitiful fool." The second said. "You are not needed by any in this world of the living. You only screw up what you have staring you in the face. You should have ended it with the other girl, but you chose not to. You chose to try and fix that one, one last time, before you admitted to yourself that things were done. Hahahaha! What a fool you are. You deserve to perish in this sadness for being so idiotic."
A third voice chimed in as well, telling the now frightened little boy that he should end his miserable failure of a life, since there would be no one he could ever truly open up to again. Or, for that matter, trust again. "It seems you have destroyed what was left her trust in men." The voice laughed harshly. "Is there really a need for you to continue to live? Why don't you do us all a favor and extinguish your dying flame, hm?" These three voices continued to berate the boy until he broke down and fell into the darkness they had come from.
In the world of the living, where dreams are made into reality and the true obstacles in the paths of those who walk in the light stand, the young man lay on his right side, his face at peace, with several damp lines leading from his right eye to his chin, and from his eye to the bridge of his nose, the pale blue light from the time keeper not betraying the weakness the man had finally succumbed to in the night.
"5:23" The time keeper on the small wooden bed post continued to mark the passing of temporal reality, not caring if anything or anyone begged it to slow, even stop. In the bed that lay next to the small tower, a young boy of a mere nineteen winters quietly released his sorrows into the cool air.
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