• Kathryn sat at the window of her small studio apartment, looking out into the night. A staggering flash of light followed in quick succession by a deep, long rumbling of thunder...nights like this made her wish she was back in North Carolina. Back in the mountains, away from all the city lights. Back in Boone, the place that still felt like her home.
    As she sipped her steaming coffee, Kathryn continued to watch the midwestern thunderstorm progress. It didn't matter where she was-- Pocahontas, the small coal-mining town in Virginia where she grew up; Sweet Briar, the first place she fled to, trying to escape the restraints of small-town life; Boone, her home for over four years, and the place that still holds her thoughts hostage; of Lombard, the suburb of the Windy City and her newest residence-- thunderstorms always seemed to soothe her. And tonight, more than ever, she desperately needed to be soothed.
    Memories are a funny thing. They can be triggered by the oddest things, or sometimes, by nothing at all. They can ensnare they mind, and keep it captive, keeping away the desire to eat or sleep. At times, memories have to be compartmentalized so as not to take a mind over. In other instances, time is the only thing that can send these memories back to where they belong.
    Memories are what kept Kathryn from the peace of sleep, yet gave her the opportunity to see this amazing storm. As she lay in bed earlier that night, every time she closed her eyes, it was as if her mind had consumed an entire pot of coffee. Worries about making ends meet as she embarked on her journey as a graduate student were on her mind, for one. Even with those thoughts plaguing her mind, she was usually able to sleep. No, tonight was different. Tonight, every time she closed her eyes, a face would come to the forefront of her mind. A face that she tried so hard to make sure she would not forget, yet a face that often haunted her dreams. His face. The face of the man she loved, but was too afraid to tell. Pale skin that was almost too beautiful and fair for a man, yet it seemed to be perfect for him; hazel eyes that lit up when he smiled; and a smile that would melt even the coldest of hearts...there was no question she was in love. Even now, she couldn't drive him from her thoughts, no matter how hard she tried. Colin would live in her memories forever.
    As Kathryn tossed and turned in her bed, she tried everything to clear her mind. She looked at the clock. 1:30 am.
    She pressed "play" on her CD player, trying to focus on the music and drown out her thoughts.

    2:00 am

    Kathryn took out the book she had been reading. Jurassic Park...surely the words of the writer could push him from her thoughts. After all, the whole purpose of books was to take one to a different world...to help one escape-- something she did rather often. Then, perhaps, she could sleep.

    3:30 am

    Still unable to sleep, Kathryn began to get more and more frustrated. She removed her Organic Chemistry book from her neglected backpack that lay halfway under her now dissheveled bed. She hoped that the subject she hated most-- the absolute bane of her existence-- would bore her enough to force her to sleep.

    4:15 am.

    No such luck. Riddled with anxiety, she threw the book into her papasan chair with a frustrated grunt as she crossed the room from her bed to the small kitchenette.
    "Another sleepless night," Kathryn grumbled to herself as she harshly turned on the faucet of her kitchen sink. She pinched the bridge of her nose with one hand as she filled the carafe with the other. After putting the coffee grounds into the filter, she chuckled to herself as she filled the resivoir. "I really need to get a cat. At least then I can feel like I'm talking to someone," she sighed.
    Living in a new city, completely alone, she knew no one. Even after two months of living there, she had yet to make a solitary friend. Because of that, she often found herself thinking out loud. She wasn't sure if it was for fear of losing her voice from the lack of use, or if it was simply so her apartment wasn't so deathly quiet all the time. Either way, she still found it off to talk to herself.
    As she sat on her small, royal blue loveseat, Kathryn pulled up a TV table, setting down her fresh coffee and a very early breakfast of eggs and hash browns. Opening Jurassic Park once again, she fueled herself as she read a couple additional chapters. Her eyes were tired but if she kept her mind busy, she could at least stay awake and not completely ruin her sleeping pattern by going to bed at 4:30 in the morning. Not to mention, if she kept her mind busy, she wasn't thinking of him.
    Kathryn looked up as a flash of light caught her eye through the mostly closed blinds of her only windows. Several seconds later, a quiet rumble of thunder sounded. A few moments after that, the pattern repeated, only the thunder came a few seconds sooner...the storm was moving in. The intensity of the lightning increased, and she could hear the first raindrops falling heavily on the metal roof above her. Setting her book down, her mind began to wander.
    Even as a child, Kathryn loved thunderstorms. She would go outside and drench herself in the spring rains, never fearing the chance of lightning striking her. It was, after all, her friend. The lightning was there to take her troubles away. It would never harm her. She would sit on her back porch, reclining on the deep freezer, watching the lightning crawl in the sky until it disappeared behind the Blue Ridge mountaintops. And right now, she needed her friend again.
    Kathryn raised the blinds of her double windows. She turned off every light in her apartment and opened her windows to allow the mist from the heavy rainfall to pass through. Curling on a blanket, she sat at her window and watched the majesty of the storm. For a few moments, she finally allowed herself to feel everything. The hurt, the anger, regret, sorrow, worry, pain...everything that she had bottled up inside for over six months and not allowed herself to express. It all came rushing out with the presence of her friend there.
    As she wiped away a few of the numerous tears she had shed, and was continuing to shed, she was able to feel something new. A calm relief. It was as if with the passing of the storm, it took with it all the emotions that had been tearing her apart for so long. Inhaling a cleansing breath, she let it out slowly to calm herself further. With still-glistening eyes, she looked at the fading lightning and smiled. "Thank you," she whispered to the rumbling, darkened skies as the storm continued on its way. With one last strong flicker of lightning paired with its thunderous companion, the storm seemed to reply, "You're welcome."