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    Twila The Girl Who Waz In Luv With A Vampyre

    Hey nice title. What's your next fanfic, Harold the Leprechaun who ate a box of Cheez-itz?

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    Hi my name is Twila Beatiful Psyco Topaz

    Nice name did your parents let you name yourself or was your mother hoping you could fulfill her dream that she never got to live?

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    (not cullen yet, bcuz i ddnt meet edward yet)

    Way to spoil your entire plot line. May as well stop reading now that I know what happens.

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    n i live in waschington wif my sister Midnite.

    Waschington? Is that like somewhere in Antarctica, because I've never heard of it anywhere? And is your sister a cat or something?

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    we liv in a dark house that iz far away from every1 els n we r vampires.

    What? No build up? Just "hey 'sup I'm a vampire"?

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    we feest on blood n no1 else noes dat we are vampirs.

    Naw! Really? I thought vampires ate rainbows!

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    not evn are mom wich is y we moved away to b by ourselves. yes we r LONERS.

    Really? I didn't know you were loners, even though you said that you lived away from other people and that you don't live with you parents.

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    i go 2 a hi school n every1 finks dat im really hott, i hav strait blak hair nd topez eyes n mi sister midnte is da same accept she has magenta eyez.

    Everyone thinks you're hot? Beep beep Mary-sue alert Mary-sue alert.

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    i wear lots of blak makup on mi eyes even tho i hav dark ciircles under my eyes, (a/n ok if u think thats lame then F*K U, edword has dem too and steraphie myers sed hes realli hot ok.)

    So Meyer said that Edward is hot and you believe her? Well in that case, I'm a mermaid in disguise and my second cousin twice removed is the Loch Ness Monster. I said it, so it must be true.

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    i dnt lyk any1 at mi school, i am a missenthrop (a/n loook it up) that menz i hate other ppl accept midnite.

    Why should we look it up when you misspelled it and you just told us what it means?

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    one day i met a realli sexi vampore named EDWARd CULLENS

    NAME IN ALL CAPS. WHY? BECAUSE IT'S SEXI! And oh my goodness, there's more than one Edward! Yay, now everyone can have their own little Edward pet! But , wait, you just said that you're a misanthrope. So how come out of no where you like somebody?

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    he haz realli white skin lyk me. he is satan's gift to dis planet (a/n I DONT BELEVE IN GOD I AM N ATHEIST. i thnk saten created dis universe god bles u satan u r alwayz in mi heart.)

    Atheist: a person who has no belief in any religion. Atheist =/= Satanist. And then you say God bless you Satan. Oh, the irony!

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    so anywey i met him i nda skewl n he was wif some f*kking ugli *ss b*tch named bella swann. she waz soo stupid n she kept fallin out of her seat.

    Well at least she described Bella correctly. biggrin And so you know she spelled the b word with a y instead of an i.

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    edwward lookd at me lyk wtf is dis gurl doing. i smiled at him sexi and aventerous n he new rite away that i wuz a vampir, i culd tell from his eyes wich were da same collor as mine.

    Wait, wait, wait. So all of a sudden all vampires have topaz eyes? But Midnight has magenta eyes. And, again she said she was a misanthrope. So as soon as she sees a hot guy, OM MY GOODNESS SHE'S BEEN CURED!

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    "Heyy" he sed walkn away from bella. dere were some gay a** ghetto ppl in his way doin da SOLDA BOY CRANK DANce n he jus lookd at dem with his dethly eyes n they iran away.

    I'm pretty sure if the so called "ghetto people" just saw a guy stare at them, they'd just call him gay. Iran is away? Come back soon Iran!

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    i realy hat cliks n gheto ppl fink they r kewl, i giv dem the middle finger in the halwayz n itz l;ke YEA HUS TUFF NOW LOL rite

    The middle finger does not make you tough. It means you are too much of a sissy to do anything about it.

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    neway edward n i sat 2getha at da lunch tabel n bella stard at us wif dat poser jakob. ed ddnt pay ne atencion to her at all.

    So it's lunchtime after a few sentences. SEE? THIS IS WHY SCHOOL SHOULD NOT EXSIST! TIME GOES BY SO FAST!

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    he told me al abot how he iz a vampir n his dad carlose wnated 2 meet me. n his sisters alice, rosmarie, jasper n emet all luved me rite away n his mom esmi wnted 2 meet me 2.

    Hola senor Carlose. So Jasper and Emmet are girls? And who is Rosmarie? And how can Carlose and all of Ed's sisters love her/ want to meet her if they've never seen her before. PLOT HOLES!

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    so we kut skewl early n went to his realli big house in da woods n jasper is realli big and muscelar so he jst nocked down all da treez in da way.

    I thought Emmet was the strong one. And why does a poor forest have to die just because the trees are in the way? sad

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    when we got there carlose came to da door imedately. he gasped in surpise at my beauty.

    Of course, because everyone has to love you, Twila.

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    "You Must be twila, my u certenly r attraxive" he teasd me seductevly. ed, jasp, emet, alison n rosaline all growld at him angrly, all sensitive becuz they liked me 2 besidez it wusnt fare cuz he was alreadi married.

    Why is everyone, even the girls, attracted to Twila? And suddenly Rosmarie is Rosaline?

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    "Yea thats me lol" i told him and bowed (a/n dats wat they do in japanese becuz its polite) "nice to met you i said.

    You can't bow in Japanese, you can bow in Japan, but not in Japanese. And why is she suddenly Japanese? MOAR MARRY-SUENESS!

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    "So i hear ur a vampir, c** in my house n we can talk about it."

    So I herd u wer a vampyre. "c** in my house, Twila." <---That's what she said.

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    I waz sooo excited n i ran in quikly in every1 followed me, we were alreadi frends

    BUT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A MISANTHROPE! Why are you suddenly friends with a bunch of random people all of a sudden?