60 -- Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one).
50 -- Miami residents turn on the heat.
40 -- You can see your own breath. Californians shiver uncontrollably. Minnesotans go swimming.
35 -- Italian cars don't start.
32 -- Water freezes.
30 -- You plan your vacation to Australia.
25 -- Boston water freezes. Californians weep pitiably. Minnesotans eat ice cream. Canadians go swimming.
20 -- Politicians begin to talk about the homeless. New York water freezes. Miami residents plan vacation further South.
15 -- French cars don't start. Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.
10 -- You need jumper cables to get the car going.
5 -- American cars don't start.
0 -- Alaskans put on T-shirts.
-10 -- German cars don't start. Eyes freeze shut when you blink.
-15 -- You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo. Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects. Miami residents cease to exist.
-20 -- Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you. Politicians actually do something about homeless. Minnesotans shovel snow off roof. Japanese cars don't start.
-25 -- Too cold to think. You need jumper cables to get the driver going.
-30 -- You plan a two-week hot bath. Swedish cars don't start.
-40 -- Californians disappear. Minnesotans button top button. Canadians put on sweaters. Your car helps you plan your trip South.
-50 -- Congressional hot air freezes. Alaskans close bathroom window.
-80 -- Hell freezes over. Polar bears move South.
-90 -- Lawyers put their hands in their pockets.
Below -90 -- End of the world...
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