• tab It wouldn’t go away, the feeling of Jason’s disgusting lips being pressed against hers. Though she was trying hard to keep herself together, Jenna knew that she was only fooling herself.
    tab After Jason had left her, she had stood numbly in that spot on the boardwalk, trying to convince herself that this was all a bad dream and any moment now, she’d wake up. That was when reality came crashing down around her and she took off running, desperate to reach her room so she could crawl under blankets and cry.
    tab Now as she walked through the elevator doors, Jenna was trying to hold off the tears that were ready to fall from her eyes. And yet despite everything Jenna still found herself struggling to accept the fact that Jason was really in White Sands. Rubbing her eyes, she made her way towards her door, thankful that Dahlia was out so she would have the place to herself for a good three hours, hopefully enough time to prove to herself that this was really happening.
    tab “About time you come back.”
    tab Nearly tripping over her own to feet, Jenna glanced up surprised to see Nate sitting outside her front door.
    tab “Ho…how long have you been there?” Her voice came out squeaky, clearly haven’t recovered from the shock of seeing him.
    tab Shrugging his shoulders casually, Nate picked a piece of lint of his jeans, “About an hour. Though I’ll admit, I didn’t expect you to be back so early, unless…” he shot her a look, “…unless Theo said something?”
    :tab“No,” she said quickly, “he had to make a delivery.”
    :tabAll day she had been waiting to see him, waiting to tell him that she wasn't mad. But now that he was actually here, she’d wished he’d leave. Seeing her this way was the last thing she wanted Nate to do.
    tab She had been so busy thinking about herself, that she hadn’t noticed Nate stand up until he was right besides her.
    tab “I know you don’t want to talk to me, but before you say anything, please give me a chance to explain what was going on.”
    tab He didn’t have to do this, explain himself to her, not when she had already forgiven him.
    tab “No Nate I-” He caught her off by holding up his hand.
    tab “I lied,” he said, “when I said that nothing was going on, I was lying.”
    tab Jenna didn’t want to hear this, didn’t want Nate to be so truthful when all she could do was lie.
    tab A few days ago, Cass said something that I didn’t agree with. I lost my temper and yelled at her,” Nate kept his eyes focused on the floor while he spoke. “After that, I couldn’t seem to get what she said out of my mind and then last night I…I really wasn’t thinking straight.”
    tab Even though she was grateful that he was finally telling the truth, she wanted him to stop. The more he said, the guiltier she felt for no telling him about Jason.
    tab “This morning, I went over to Cass and we talked,” he glanced up at her and Jenna could see the relief in his eyes, “everything’s ok now so you don’t ever have to worry about last night ever happening again.” He sounded so happy, she could practically feel her heart breaking.
    tab She hated herself for not telling him the truth but how could she? If Nate found out about Jason, then there was no telling what he might do. The last thing she wanted was to relive that day on the beach with Lance.
    tab “Hey, what’s wrong?”
    tab Looking away, she hastily rubbed her eyes, hoping to get rid of any sign of tears, “Nothing, I’m just to relieved that everything’s back to normal.”
    tab A boyish grin graced Nate’s face as he wrapped his arms around her before kissing her, “Yeah, me too.”
    tab And then they were kissing again, as if the last fourteen hours hadn’t happened. Feeling the wall behind her, Jenna did her best to put Jason out of her mind but she couldn’t.
    tab “Nate,” she broke away from him, “I’m a little tired I was actually on my home so I could take a nap.” There was no way in hell that he’d buy that excuse but it was worth a chance.
    tab Stepping back, Jenna thought she saw a look of uncertainty flash over Nate’s face but as quickly as it appeared, it vanished. “Yeah, go ahead. Do you want to meet up later?”
 Pulling out her key, Jenna purposely faced the door, just so she wouldn’t have to face him, “I’m actually kind of busy tonight, Dahlia has this thing…” she trailed off, hoping Nate didn’t press the matter further.
    tab “Oh,” was all he said, but it was enough to hear his disappointment.
    tab “I’ll see you later,” she called as she quickly darted through the door, closing it in Nate’s face.
    tab Through the door, she could hear the sounds of Nate’s footsteps until at last they faded away. Dropping her bag, she sank onto the floor and let go of the tears that she had been holding back.
    tab Over and over again, she could see Nate’s disappointed face, confirming the fact that she had obviously hurt him. Here he had gone and waited for her, just so he could clear a misunderstanding, and how had she repaid him? By completely stomping on his heart, ruining a perfectly good moment. He may not have said anything, but she could tell from the way he had looked at her that he knew that something was up.
    tab Pulling herself together, she tried to thin of a solution of how she could deal with Jason but nothing came to mind. She could ignore him, but knowing Jason, he’d find ways to weed his way back into her life. Or she could give in to his disgusting request, let him admire her from afar. Jason may be a creep, but he was smart enough to keep his true motives hidden.
    tab Either way, Nate couldn’t find out that much was clear to her.

    tab “So tell me again, why do you have that on today?”
    tab This must have been the third time he had asked her that question. Ever since he had come to pick to her up that morning, all Nate had done was ask about the bikini she was wearing.
    tab “Like I’ve been saying,” she turned around just as they reached the already crowded beach, “I wanted to try something different. Is that a crime?”
    tab Unzipping his lifeguard’s jacket, Nate walked ahead of her, “No, but even when we’re by ourselves in the pool, you insist on covering up as much skin as possible. I guess I didn’t expect you to suddenly become so confident, especially in public.”
    tab Of course he was right. The first time they were at the pool together, Nate had made a comment on her swimsuit. “I understand why you don’t like showing skin when in public, but do you see anyone else here?” He had gestured to the empty swimming pool, “You have to relax, stop thinking that every guy you meet is out to get you.”
    tab But right now he was wrong, she was anything but confident.
    At first it hadn’t been much of a big deal walking through the semi crowded lobby of the apartment building with Nate at her side, but when she stepped onto the sand Jenna suddenly felt as if a big spotlight was trained on her.
    Though she was wearing jeans over the bottom half of her swimsuit, Jenna felt completely exposed. Awkwardly folding her arms over one another, Jenna could swear that everyone was staring at her, following her every move.
    tab “You sure you want to do this?” Nate’s eyes had narrowed as he waited for her to join him.
    tab Feeling her face grow red with embarrassment, she tried to block out the group of guys that she could see out of the corner of her eyes. They were pointing at her and whispering to one another. “Yep,” she explained, trying to sound self assured.
    tab Shaking his head, Nate pointed to the lifeguard’s stand a few yards away, “If you need me, I’ll be up there,” he looked at her and grimaced. “You know, I don’t like you dressed like that,” grumbling, he set his bag down on the sand. “The way you look right now, it doesn’t seem right.” Why did he have to be so good at knowing what was on her mind.
    tab “You just haven’t gotten used to it yet,” she tried to sound cheerful as she tried to assure him, as well as herself. “Now get going, I’ll be fine on my own.” With a disbelieving shrug, he turned and walked away, not even bothering to give her a goodbye kiss.
    tab All alone, Jenna suddenly felt as if the world had begun to close in on her from all sides. All around her, she could have sworn that people were watching her, even though a part of her knew they weren’t. Unfortunately, the bikini she was wearing had been the only one she had packed and it only made her standout even more. It was dark blue with had a floral pattern. A year ago, it had been her favorite, she had always insisted on wearing it every time she went to the beach. Back then she had felt irresistible and took pride in how she looked. When she had walked out of her room to greet him that morning, she had watched Nate’s eyes widen as he took in the image of her bikini-clad body. “You…you...” he had stammered liked a babbling idiot, lost for words as she had shyly pulled on her jeans.
    tab A year ago, she would have been flattered by his reaction, but now all it did was make her feel completely exposed. If this was how Nate reacted, then she didn’t even want to think about the rest of the guys that could be waiting for her on the beach.
    tab Pulling out a blanket, she laid it out on the sand before sitting down. Grabbing the book Cassidy had suggested she read, she tried to concentrate on the story as groups of guys pass by.
    tab :“Hey sweetheart,” a surfer yelled as he walked past her, “need some company?”
    tab Jenna looked away in revulsion as the guy continued down the beach.
    tab This had been a mistake. Why the hell had she given into Jason’s ridiculous demand anyway?
    tab So he’d leave me alone.
    tab It was a pathetic excuse; Jason wouldn’t give up so easily. Speaking of which, she wondered if he was watching her this very minute. Setting her book down, Jenna pulled her legs close to her body while she glanced around, trying to locate Jason among the crowds of people. Even if he was watching her, he wouldn’t be forward enough to approach her, or would he? Crossing her arms over her chest, she closed her eyes, hoping that she hadn’t accidentally managed to make eye contact with him. The last thing she wanted was Jason getting the impression that she wanted him to join her
    tab Suddenly she felt a hand touch her neck before slowly traveling down her spin sending shivers throughout Jenna’s body until at last, it reached the straps that held her top together.
    tab “Never thought you’d look so hot,” Jason breathed into her ear as he placed his other hand on her shoulder.
    tab “Don’t touch me Jason,” she snapped as she jumped to get up, but Jason pulled her back down.
    tab “Aw, come on. How am I supposed to stay away when you look so tasty,” he spoke drawing out the word ‘so’, making it seem endless, like it could go on forever.
    tab Biting her lip, Jenna tried not to scream as Jason’s hand started to massage her stomach, occasionally brushing the edge of her top.
    tab “Come on,” his other hand migrated from her shoulder to her chin as he turned her face towards him. “Let’s go somewhere where we can be alone so we won’t be disturbed by that guy I saw you with,” he moved closer and pressed his forehead against her cheek.
    tab Looking away, she bit down harder on her lip, trying to keep herself from screaming Nate’s name aloud. This was bad, now that Jason had seen Nate; he’d definitely double up on his demands.
    tab “So that’s your real boyfriend isn’t it? Can’t wait to meet him,” he whispered slyly into her ear. He knew her weakness and now she knew that she was trapped.
    tab Feeling Jason’s lips brush against her skin, Jenna elbowed him in the gut and quickly jerked out of his grasp.
    tab “What the hell?” Jason gasped as he held his stomach; coughing as he tried to catch his breath, to Jenna’s surprise, he sounded angry. “Isn’t this exactly what you wanted to happen when you put that bikini on this morning?”
    tab Jenna tried to shake it off. “I only wore this so you’d leave me alone.”
    tab She jumped up but he was next to her in seconds. Grabbing her arm, he pulled her close to him in away that could be mistaken by onlookers as affectionate.
    tab “Yeah right. Listen, I’m warning you,” he said sweetly, though his voice was anything but sweet. “Don’t ever ******** with me again or I might end up doing something that you might find less than pleasant.” Grabbing the side of her face in his hands, he pulled her up against him and kissed her forcefully.
    tab Tears were streaming down her cheeks when Jason finally let her go. Numbly, she watched him walk right past the lifeguard’s stand where Nate was sitting. Horror struck, she watched Jason raise his hand and give Nate a friendly wave before he continued down the beach.
    tab First Theo, and now Nate. It was just like the kids at her school. Jason had everybody fooled.
    tab As soon as he was out of sight, Jenna ran towards Nate, not caring if people noticed her sobbing. She couldn’t do this; pretend that everything was ok when it obviously wasn’t. By the time she reached him, Nate was already moving towards her, his arms open to greet her when their bodies collided with one another.
    tab “What happened? What's wrong?” His voice sound panicked and worried and Jenna knew that the more she lied, the more she would hurt him.
    tab Pressing her face against his chest, Jenna knew that she couldn’t keep the truth from him any longer, which he had the right to know. And yet when she was finally able to speak again, she couldn’t bring herself to say what had just happened.
    tab “I made a mistake,” she sobbed, “I shouldn’t have done this.”
    tab Feeling Nate place his jacket on her shoulders, Jenna looked up and could see the seriousness emanating from his green eyes. “Come on, I’m taking you home,” he motioned to another lifeguard to take his spot before leading her back over to the blanket.
    tab “I’m sure you don’t want to hear this right now, but, you didn’t have to wear that. You don’t need to impress me,” his voice was flat, though Jenna could detect a trace of uncertainty within it.
    tab The moment he mentioned the bikini, Jenna could feel her heart twist into a knot, “Uhh…actually…I didn’t wear it to impress you…” her voice trailed off as Nate gathered her things and stuffed the blanket violently back into her bag.
    tab Turning around, he practically shoved the bag into her arms, “Then why the hell did you wear it?” He hissed through clenched teeth.
    tab Around them, people turned and stared at Nate whose voice seemed to have been heard throughout the entire beach.
    tab Face growing red, Jenna let Nate led her away from the beach. This was all her fault. Why couldn’t she just tell him the truth about Jason?
    tab Pulling his jacket closer to her, Jenna wished she could redo the last twenty-four hours. She should have never gone with Theo, that way; she’d never have run into Jason. None of this would be happening if she had jus turned around and had gone back to her room
    tab “Well, aren’t you going to answer my question?” Nate had stopped walking, clearly waiting for her to catch up to him.
    tab Jenna stared at the ground, unsure of what to say.
    tab Reaching the main entrance, Nate didn’t wait for her to answer before moving onto another question, “What's going on? What aren’t you telling me?”
    tab Pulling the zipper of Nate’s jacket up higher, Jenna felt her face flush as she twirled a strand of her hair with a finger from her other hand, “Nothing is going on. What I did today was stupid and I’ll never-”
    tab “Damn it Jenna! why is it so hard for you to trust me?” he was yelling again, not caring if the entire apartment complex heard him or not.
    tab Glancing over at him, she could see the desperation in his eyes, making her feel even guiltier about herself.
    tab “I do trust you Nate,” she assured him, taking a step closer. This wasn’t fair, just when things were finally getting better; she was ruining it by keeping the truth from him.
    tab Jenna watched as a frustrated look appear on his face, “Then tell me the truth,” he was asking rather than demanding, and Jenna felt terrible bringing him to this point.
    tab Then there was a long silence. While Nate waited for her to say something, Jenna chewing the inside of her cheek as she desperately attempted to come up with an excuse.
    tab Finally, Nate sighed as he ran one of his hands down the side of his face. “It’s funny…I thought that after I’d fix things with Cass, everything would go back to normal,” he let out a cynical laugh. “Instead, we’re worse off than we were before.” It was over. She could tell from the tone of his voice that Nate had had enough of her.
    tab Nate pointed towards the lobby before walking past her. “You can make it the rest of the way on your own right?” Even if she said no, Jenna was positive that Nate would just ignore her anyway.
    tab This wasn’t happening, she couldn’t let him walk away before she had had a chance to explain, “Nate please don’t-”
    tab Turning back, he glared at her. “Unless you’re going to tell me the truth,” he snapped, sharply interrupting her. “Don’t bother talking to me.” Then he stared at her, waiting for her to say something. And when she couldn’t think of anything to say, he turned around and walked off.
    tab For a while, she just stood there, trying to make sense of what had happened. Picking up her bag off the floor, she silently walked through the lobby, in a sort of daze. The reality of what had just happened didn’t set in until she had stepped onto the elevator. As the metal doors closed, it dawned on her that if she didn’t fix this situation. Nate might never talk to her again, hold her again, or kiss her again. By the time she reached her floor, she was a mess with fresh tears running down her face. For the first time in months she had been happy and yet had gone and ruined it all with her secrecy.