• November :

    It was the first of November; I was in St. Agustin with my father and his new family. A pretty little stay at home wife, two twin boys that were my elders by a year and a large house, this was were I was to live for the rest of my life. I hadn’t said a word to anyone, in fact my last word was said to the lady from the Air Line; I hadn’t had a thing to eat, the last thing had been waffles that nights dinner-Do to the fact I could barely keep anything down. I hadn’t been able to sleep a single wink, and my eyes still remained dry. For some reason I didn’t feel like they liked me at my new home, dads new wife would give me looks, and no one would say a word to me, I saw dad for the most part of dinner, and he didn’t even try and talk to me. Most of the time I took Chiquita out on a walk around the large and fancy looking neighborhood. It was true that dad had found a way better job now, and was supplying his new family of everything he never gave me and my brother; mom had been right when she told me that it would happen.


    I needed someone to talk to bad, I was alone and I had no one, I had no numbers either and really even if I did they wouldn’t be anyone I could possibly talk to. That afternoon I sat in my room and read over a few journal entries from before, and just like that scribbled in black pen I found his number. I hadn’t talked to him in two months, but he was my last hope, without him I was sure to go insane, I couldn’t take my own thoughts locked up in my own mind for much longer, I was going to lose it soon. So I dialed, and I waited for those three horrible rings to end and a familiar voice to answer at the other end. “Hello?” There it was, like a gift from above, his voice was like a melody that had been lost to my ears “Taylor?” I said finally hearing my voice, such a sad excuse for a voice it was “Who is this?” He questioned me once more “Its me Taylor…Priscilla…” Hearing my name was odd coming from me, it had lost its beauty and its uniqueness “Priscilla? I do-Priscilla!” Was it really the same name he was saying? Was it my name? Because it sure as hell didn’t sound like it. “Yes…Its me…” I had nothing else to answer to that, but it was clear he did “Wow…How long has it been? How long have you ignored my calls and my texts and all of a sudden I hear from you out of the blue…I’m hanging up-“ “NO! Please don’t hang up” I begged “Why shouldn’t I hang up? Why shouldn’t I ignore you like you ignored me?” He was angry, and I didn’t blame him “I don’t know…But I need you right now, I need someone to talk to…Please…I need to talk to you, please, just don’t hang up” I kept on begging, my eyes were watering, but I choked the tears back, and they stopped. “Fine I wont hang up…What do you want?” His tone was cold and it struck at my already broken heart like a sharp reminder of what I had done to him “Do you know where the StarBucks on 88th Street is?” I hoped with all my might that he wasn’t too far away “Yes why?” “Can you meet me there?” He was quiet “You’re here?” He asked with surprise “Yes…Can you meet me there?” He was quiet once more, this time for a few more seconds “Sure…I’ll be there in an hour” He was going to hang up I could tell but I stopped him “Wait Taylor!” “What is it?” “Thank you” He didn’t answer.

    I sat there waiting, it had been and hour. He wasn’t going to show up. It was another thirty minutes, why was I still sitting there and hoping like an idiot that he would show up. But I waited. He was an hour and thirty minutes late but he showed up. He got out of the beige Escalade and he scanned the outside tables till he stopped and stared at me. It felt as if he were going to turn around and run for the hills, but he took in a deep breath and walked over to me. He stood next to the chair for a while and said nothing; I figured it was my cue to say something, or do anything that showed the least bit signs of life “I’m sorry…” Was all that I could muster up and come out with, he still said nothing, but still I waiting for anything from him. “What do you need to talk about?” His voice was cold and sharp, “I…I’m alone…” Was all I could say to him, I didn’t look up; I couldn’t dare meet his gaze. “What do you mean?” He questioned, “My mom…My brother…They left and are never coming back…” My voice broke, I felt as if my heart was being strangled, my stomach was flopped upside down, and my eyes were going to cry rivers around me. “They left?” His voice was soft, I took in a deep breath and controlled myself, I held back tears and looked up at him. “Mom said she needed time to get away from everything, that her and my brother were going to Peru for two months…But…The plane…It crashed and…” I couldn’t go on, I wanted to burst out in tears but I kept holding myself back. Holding back tears was one of the hardest things I’d ever had to do in my entire life. “P-Priscilla…I…” He was speechless, I looked up at his face and it was twisted into a kind of pained, embarrassed, and ashamed look. I fell back into the metal chair and stared at nothing for a while, the silence was around us and it was thick as fog. “I’m sorry you know. That I ignored you…But I thought it would be easier to let go of you…Guess it wasn’t. You didn’t have to come here you know, but thanks for doing so anyways…” My voice sounded robotic, it was empty and faraway, “You needed someone to talk to…I’d told you before that I would be there no matter what. I couldn’t make this an exception” “Still thanks…” I answered to him. “What are you doing here anyways?” He asked, “My dad lives here. He moved in September when he found a better family…And since I have no other relatives here…” My tone was bitter and hateful for some reason “Oh…Priscilla I don’t want to be rude and sound mean but, you don’t look good. Looks like you haven’t slept in weeks” He stared at my face for a while, I guess I did look different now. “Since the twenty-fifth actually… You are the only one I’ve spoke to since then…” I say this to him without a care in the bloody world “Are you eating at least?” I was going to lie, but like on cue my stomach let out one of the biggest and most disturbing growls anyone had ever heard. “…Priscilla, you can’t do this to yourself!” He stood up with rage and looked down at me, the chair fell back and I wanted to hide under a rock. “You don’t have to worry about me Taylor. I’ve survived, I think I can keep on going like this…” I looked up at him with a hollow and meaningless smirk, “You think this is ******** funny?! Its not funny Priscilla, if you keep going like this…You…You will die damn it!” He was angry and I had done it to him. “It seems that every time I’m with you I only make you angry or hurt you…I cant do anything right Taylor…I’m sorry…Thank you for talking to me…But I think I should be heading back home now…Looks like its going to rain and I have to walk” I didn’t look at him as I stood up and started to walk, he grabbed my arm and stopped me “I’ll walk you home”.

    We had yet to say a word to each other, I could tell he was merely following me, “Where do you live?” He finally asked “Over there” My hand pointed over to a city sized condominium. “I live there too…” It sure hit us like a surprise. We couldn’t make it to my house on time; the rain was pretty hard so we stopped at a park. He stood under a large tree and I sat on the swing, “You’re gonna get sick! Get over here!” He called to me but I merely ignored him, Taylor walked over to me and stood in front of me. “Look at me when I’m speaking to you Priscilla! I said your going to get si-“ I looked up at him and he stopped talking, I had finally lost, my tears had won the battle now they were falling around us just like the rain, Taylor didn’t say a word as he held me in his arms for what felt like a lifetime.

    We sat under the tree in silence for a while longer, the rain had finally become a light sprinkle and it was getting darker by the second. “Would you like to spend the night at my house?” Asked Taylor ending the silence, I turned to him and thought about what I would answer, “Would it be alright?” “I’m sure that my parents would say yes, and well…I don’t know about your dad…” he was quiet once more “Lend me your phone”. I called and finally spoke to my dad, he was surprised to hear my voice, and breathlessly he answered my question. Taylor and I walked back to his house side by side.

    It had been fourteen days later when everything, and I do mean everything in my life came crashing down. I was getting better, I had began to eat, I would talk to my dad at least once or twice a day and say at least one word to his new wife and kids, I could close my eyes and rest for a few hours a day and I would spend every minute possible with Taylor. In those days it would be no surprise if I stayed over his house for dinner or just the whole night. It was a home, away from home. His parents were more then kind to me, and I felt good when I was with Taylor, as if I wasn’t alone anymore, as if…There was no other way for things to go then up. But, like many things, it had to end at some point. In my case it was November fifteenth. It was a normal Sunday, Taylor and I were in his living room flipping through the channels like we would do in a long and boring day out of school. Though this time as I heard the first of the thunders outside I jumped and got an awful feeling inside. Like something was telling me to do something, something strange and out of the ordinary. But I let it go, why in hell did I let it go?! If I hadn’t let it go everything wouldn’t have been so bad…But I did and I can’t go back. In minutes the rain began to fall harder then I’d ever seen it fall before, harder then when Taylor and I were at the park that lovely November first, harder then-No, just as hard as when my mothers plane crashed. But I wasn’t thinking then, I was far too busy watching ‘Sponge-Bob Squarepants’ make bubbles come out of the holes in his body and laughing without a bloody care in the world. It was around eight, after having had dinner, that I got a phone call. Taylor sat on the futon staring blankly at the T.V. screen, while I sat on the floor reading an old book. My phone was next to me as I heard it vibrate, without looking at the number I answered. “Hello?” “Priscilla has your dad picked you up yet?” It was her, the most dreaded step-mother ever, I answered like I would normally answer that woman, with a short and cold “No” “Oh…I just thought, because he left ages ago…Thanks, I’m going to try his cell again” And with that she hung up. “You know, you should try and say more then one word to other people…I mean outside of my family you don’t say more then one or two words to people” Said Taylor still engulfed with his videogame “Talking to boring people is pointless Taylor, now watch out or you will” His character in the videogame missed a jump and fell into a fire-pit “Lose” He threw the controller and I laughed as hard as I could for that one moment. Minutes later, while Taylor and I were fighting over who was better at the game, my phone rang. “Hello?” I answered still laughing “Priscilla! Your dad! He got into a car accident! Hospital now!” Her tone, I will always remember the tone in which she said it. She was panicked, she was scared and she was crying, nothing could ever make me forget her tone. I was still laughing when I answered, “What?” “He was driving in the rain and a car hit him! He’s in the hospital! Please go there now!” There it was, my final wake up call, telling me that everything was not going to be ok. It hit me hard, so hard that I swear I felt the air being knocked out of me. I dropped my phone, the sound of the T.V., the sound of the woman crying at the other side of the phone, even Taylors voice were all gone. All I could hear was the sound of my beating heart and my heavy breathing.

    I ran as fast as I could out of the car and to the front desk of the hospital “David! David Garcia! Where is he?!” I shouted at the lady working behind the desk, I know she didn’t deserve it, but I was in no state to consider others. I sped down the East wing of the hospital, crashed through the swinging doors that had the bright red sign that said ‘Emergency’ over it and came to a halt when a cart was rushed passed me. The one glimpse that I caught made me shutter, it made my stomach turn, and it made me turn pale and cold. My father was covered in blood, not moving, not breathing, not alive.

    I sat outside on the sidewalk, sirens filled the night air, and the rain still fell without a care of whom it killed. Suddenly the rain no longer hit me, it hit the sidewalk and everything else, but as if I was in a bubble nothing hit me anymore. I looked up and found Taylor standing over me with and umbrella. He sat next to me and said nothing, “The last time I saw him was when he dropped me off Friday at school. He said ‘Have a good day, I love you’ but all I did was close the door behind me…” It was quiet for a minute longer as I let the words float around us. “He knows you love him” Finally said Taylor “He’s dead Taylor…And the last thing he remembers of me is me slamming the door in his face…” I didn’t look at him, “So? He is and always will be your father, and he knows that you love him, just like your mom and little brother. They are up there in heaven looking over you, knowing very well that you have always loved them” We both stared up at the cloudy sky, and watched as the rain fell for a while. Finally when I no longer could take it anymore, I hugged Taylor and cried into his navy blue polo shirt.

    ~*~

    One should never take ones family for granted. One day everything could turn for the worst. In a blink of an eye everything you ever loved could be yanked from right under your feet. You could be left by yourself trying to fend off evils of which no one has ever seen the likes of before. Being alone in the world is not pretty, it is cruel and cold, and not a friendly place for someone that has lost everything.