• Sebastian moved out of his obedient position and extended his only hand to Ciel. After the kiss, Ciel was a little hesitant; if a touch of the hand sent his heart to racing would Sebastian feel it? If a physical reaction like that was noticeable, if Sebastian was able to feel it, it would brand him as weak...the Earl of the cursed Phantomhive family was supposed to feel only malice...even if there was nothing to direct those feelings towards anymore, he had no time for feelings of attraction. There was simply no place in his heart for it, that's all he had to keep telling himself.

    Finally feeling bold enough, having pushed all feelings of uncertain affection from his mind, he took his butler's hand and almost immediately swore to himself. The second his fingertips brushed against Sebastian's strong hand, his heart skipped a beat...even though his dead heart no longer needed to beat, the sensation of it pounding still shook his body. Sebastian's accompanying smirk didn't help with his immediate embarrassment.

    Sebastian's large hand closed around his master's and he gently tugged the boy out of his seat on the bench. As Ciel rose to get up from the bench be was placed on, he caught his dress shoes on a raised crack in the ruined pavement and, with a shocked gasp, fell into Sebastian. His small hand gripped at Sebastian's uniform and he refused to look up at the demon's face as he was absolutely certain the expression it held was a smug one, "..."

    Sebastian's chest rose and fell with an exasperated sigh, "You've scuffed your shoes, young master...and there's nothing down here for me to properly shine them with."

    Ciel's face burned as Sebastian spoke, his butler's voice had never effected him so much before, "What does it matter?" he asked, his annoyed tone thicker than normal. He dared to look up as he asked his question only to quickly snap his head away in embarrassment. Despite his tone, Sebastian's expression was indeed a smug one. "It's not as if I have a reason to look presentable as I trip about through hell..."

    "Presentation is everything, young master. What would people think if you came back to the world of the living with scuffed shoes?" he seemed rather disappointed with himself the more he continued, "Why, they'd think that the butler of the Phantomhive family is no longer fit to carry out the simplest task of polishing your shoes."

    Ciel huffed, "I'm certain they would be more surprised that I came back in the first place...if I matter at all, my appearance will be far from their mind."

    "You matter a great deal, my lord." Sebastian smiled, "Regardless, I'll be certain to polish your shoes as soon as I am able."

    Ciel backed away from Sebastian as he was no longer comfortable being so close to his once and forever loyal butler. He knew it wasn't due to anything Sebastian had said or done…he was speaking as he always did , and the kiss did feel quite nice…it was just, now that there was nothing for him to direct his ever remaining hatred towards, the disturbing feelings of attraction he had fought to stave off were beginning to come to light. He was making his own self dreadfully uncomfortable.

    He sighed and looked away, running an annoyed hand through his hair, "...You can be such an idiot sometimes..."

    Sebastian held back a chuckle, he had been informed of his apparent idiocy many times since he came into Ciel's life, the comment was now very commonplace, "Indeed I can be." Without further comment he gently brushed past Ciel and began to walk on, another smirk coming to his face as he felt the brief change in his master's emotional state.

    Ciel quickly turned to face Sebastian, who now had his back to him, a sudden and frightfully familiar feeling of abandonment shot like a lightning bolt down his spine, "Sebastian! Where the hell are you going?"

    "As you commanded, my Lord, I'm leading you back to the world of the living." Sebastian looked back at his master with a lingering smile, "Is that not what you wanted?"

    In the silence, the sound of Ciel's teeth gritting together in annoyance was all too noticeable, "Yes, that's what I wanted!" He jabbed an angry finger towards the direction in which they had just came, the long repressed feeling Sebastian had dug up by walking away was obviously taking its toll on his young mind, "The skiff is back that way, take me back through Thames River!"

    Sebastian stopped and turned, the half-lidded expression on his face said he was slightly confounded by his master's outburst over what he felt to be nothing, "Young master, have you learned nothing in your short life?" His tone was not a mocking one, rather a calm, concerned one, "Nothing is ever easy. Taking you back on the skiff would only result in us landing on the same dock. No matter how far it feels we have traveled, no matter which direction you may command me to take, the river we sail on leads to the same place."

    Ciel looked away, embarrassment of his childish outburst burning his face, "I see…" His voice was low, nearly a whisper, "…why didn't you tell me that a moment ago? And why did you choose to walk so far ahead?"

    "You backed away from me first, my lord, I assumed you wanted your space."

    "I did…" Ciel paused a moment, trying to get a hold of himself. Even though he was no longer a member of the living, even though he had no one to hide from behind a cold façade, he needed to keep his walls up…Keeping his walls from crumbling was the only thing keeping him from doing the very same, "…I no longer do…not as much as you're giving me now."

    The demon's mouth twitched at the corners as he fought an amused smile, "Come then," He reached out to his master with his only arm, the amused smile that tried to push through was now replaced completely with a gentle smile that betrayed his demonic nature, "I won't dare leave your side for more than a scant few minutes from here until you once again breathe your very last."

    "Thank you, Sebastian…" Ciel's eyes were cold as he stepped forward; again he was trying to guard himself, getting close to someone only meant heartache, heartache was a pain that he wasn't going to deal with again…not in the next life or any others.

    Regardless of what he was continuously trying to convince himself of on the inside, as he reached out for Sebastian's hand, he clung to it like a frightened child.

    Through his master's tight grip, Sebastian could feel each emotion that pulsed through the boy's body; the fright, the doubt, the regret, guilt, and sadness. Sebastian returned the grip Ciel applied to his hand. Ciel stared blankly ahead, but Sebastian could tell in less than a second that the child was grateful for the sense of protection in the foreign place.

    As Sebastian began to take the first step forward, Ciel quickly made the effort to keep the pace. Curiosity glinted in his presently dull eyes as he looked up at his butler, "…How long will this take, Sebastian?"

    Sebastian didn't tilt his head in the slightest, but he nearly met his master's gaze from the corner of his eyes, "I am unsure…such an endeavor as you have ordered has yet to be attempted."

    Ciel's eyes widened with both shock and oncoming anger, "Are you saying this is impossible?"

    "No." His voice was blunt; his wordless way of telling his master to remember to keep his temper in check, "I'm simply saying that it has not been attempted. The contract between master and servant has never been broken before, not in the shameful way mine has been. Those who are brought here by means such as tether of sin have simply accepted their fate…" He chuckled softly, "Not everyone is as stubborn as you are, young master."

    His final compliment brought a small twitch of a smile to Ciel's face, "Did you expect anything less of me?"

    "Not an iota less."

    Something in his butler's tone disappointed him... It sounded like a halfhearted, generic answer rather than a genuine one, "Sebastian." his tone clearly indicated his uncertain annoyance, "What do you really think of me? Nearly everything I've heard you say in terms of my image seems to be blunt and rehearsed, no matter how you may try to phrase it..."

    Sebastian seemed rather confused at the question, it seemed so out of place given the situation as well as the person, "Everything I've said about you, in both praise and disdain, has been nothing but what I felt at the time, my Lord. It is not a butler's place to speak out of turn to his master, even less so for him to lie...I apologize sincerely if I have made you feel that I am not being truthful..."

    "You didn't answer my question..."

    "Indeed I did, my Lord."

    Ciel gritted his teeth and jerked his hand away from Sebastian's, "It was not a satisfactory answer! I demand you answer it again!" He snapped his head up to meet his Butler's face, there was fire in his eyes, an anger even he couldn't place.

    Sebastian stared down at his young master, complete surprise about the boy's behavior showing in his red eyes. He wished to answer the question with a question of his own, but as it was an order, his mouth was but a floodgate for the thoughts of his mind, "Young master…" he stopped and fell to one knee, bowing in respect for his lord as he spoke his truth, "For three years I have accompanied you through your life. Through death, I still walk by your side. In the time I've been granted with you I've seen malice, treachery, hatred, and arrogance." Just speaking the words caused his mouth to water, "All of which are emotions that fester within one's soul…and whet the appetite of a demon such as myself…"

    Ciel stared down at Sebastian, waiting for him to continue, his angry eyes boring holes into the top of Sebastian's skull. The answer being given still wasn't one that satisfied him.

    "I have also witnessed kindness, compassion, and caring. Granted, I will say that the appearance of these emotions is as rare as a blue moon, but you shine when you bring them to light." After a moment, he dared to look up to meet the still angry eyes of his master, "…But I've seen far more than what you allow others to view. I've seen your fear, guilt for events you couldn't have possibly prevented; I've felt pain emanating from you so strongly that it burned even me…

    "What I will say about you, young master, what I think of you is this; you're human. You've taken on the burdening emotions that only adults of your kind should experience after they've lived long enough to look back at past regrets…You've lived as an adult would, forsaking your stolen childhood…" He paused, "I'm not entirely sure if this is the answer you were looking for, my lord, but not everyone can survive summoning a demon. Contracts are made by many, some experienced adults, and the demon in question is able to collect immediately due to the inability of the human to handle it. My answer to your question is simply this; you're a strong young man and you're to be admired…which I do a great deal."

    Sebastian's eyes locked with Ciel's and, for a moment, they merely stared at each other. Ciel didn't seem to be moved in the slightest, his eyes seemed blank, and emotionless…the one good thing Sebastian found to take into account was, his master no longer seemed angry.

    Ciel finally hung his head, his hair shadowing his eyes, "…" His body began shaking and tears streamed down his face. "…Damn it…" he growled to himself through clenched teeth, no one was ever supposed to see him cry. He fell to his knees, he hated feeling so weak, but after all that had happened, he needed to let go.

    "S-s-sebastian…" he tried to speak his butler's name clearly, but it easily became lost in his sobs. There was nothing more he could say at the moment.

    Sebastian sighed and shifted in his position to move closer to Ciel and wrap his arm around his master. "…" He had never seen Ciel in such a state; he had no words to say to comfort the boy…and he wasn't even whole enough to give a complete hug.

    Ciel instinctively moved to grip onto Sebastian's uniform as he continued to sob. He didn't know why he was crying, he was certain he'd never be able to explain any of his recent actions once he stopped. But it didn't matter now, he needed this breakdown. "…d-don't leave…please…"

    Sebastian smiled softly and tightened his grip as best he could, "…I won't, my lord, I promise…"