• Nathon Powers Journal Entry #4
    March 15, 2010


    tab It was Jenna who broke the silence about mom being gone. Dad had left and called the school, and then Jenna, through her red, tear dried face, looked up and said,
    tab "I know you don't want to talk about it, but..." I groaned.
    tab "Your going to ask about mom, aren't you?" I grumbled. I knew she would at one point or another. But that didn't mean I wanted her to.
    tab "She's gone, isn't she?" I didn't say anything. There was no need. She knew and I knew. We both knew she was gone. Then she went further,
    tab "And she's gone because of me, isn't she?" When I didn't say anything, she kept going,
    tab "You don't have to lie to me. Did she leave because of me?" What was I suppose to say? After all this grief and guilt was already on her shoulders, was I really supposed to accuse her of something else?
    tab "Don't blame yourself, ok?" is what I told her. "She left because she wanted to. That's her fault." I couldn't believe I just said that. I just blamed it on my mom, over a new angsty girl that barged into my life out of no where. Why? Why was I protecting her?
    tab I went to sleep thinking that. My dad was yelling downstairs at the principal, reporting bullying on Jenna. It was the kind of fatherly love he usually didn't even show me.
    tab Or, then I remembered my mom, yelling at my dad, those resentful eyes every time she saw Jenna. I wondered to myself, what side was I on? My dad's, or my mom's? Was it even right to make a choice like that?

    tab It was the next day when I heard first-hand the rumor surrounding Jenna, right from my best friend himself.
    tab "Hey, Nathon." I closed my locker, and acknowledged Evan's being there with a small nod.
    tab "Hey." We both began walking towards our classes together, when Evan said,
    tab "You heard what happened in the bathroom a couple days ago, right?" I shook my head. I was never caught up in gossip.
    tab "Well, I, uh, just heard rumors, but what I heard was that Stacy and Jacob Nickels were going to have...going to have...They were going to 'do it', ok?"
    tab "Seriously?" I said with eyebrows slanted up in curiousity. I feel really guilty about that. "They didn't actually 'do it' though, right?"
    tab "Nope. I heard Tyler Woods stopped them before they could. He really beat the s**t out of Jacob! You should've seen his face! He was bawling!" Wow. Somehow, I couldn't imagine that. It must've really hurt if he was crying.
    tab "Stacy and Jacob...Geez, what whores."
    tab "Yeah..." I said agreeingly. Not that I actually agreed. I just didn't want to look like an idiot in front of my best friend. It really just shows how I weak I was.
    tab "A lot of things have happened in this school since Tyler came...Heck, he might be the kind of drama our school needs." He stopped in his tracks, which caught me off guard for a second.
    tab "Speaking of Tyler...Your sister came around when he did, right?" I thought about it, and nodded. He was right.
    tab "You know what she is right?" I didn't say anything. I knew what was coming.
    tab "She's a slut, Tyler." Suddenly, all the events that transpired across the couple of days...All the yelling, the gossip, the loss...It all foamed up above my head into a giant ball of anger, and suddenly I couldn't take it anymore, so I spun around towards Evan, venting all my anger towards him.
    tab "Evan, tell me you don't actually believe that."
    tab "Nathon, I saw her! I saw her making out with some old guy outside, just two weeks ago!"
    tab "Oh yeah, ok," I snapped sarcastically. "Then why didn't you say so yesterday?"
    tab "I didn't know that was her. I only just saw her this morning." I crossed my arms, deep in thought, just grasping for an argument.
    tab "You don't know what you're talking about," I hissed. "Jenna...she would never do something like that!"
    tab "I know what I saw. And I saw her and some random geezer passionately kissing outside on the porch of that abandoned house in your neighborhood. Why the hell would I lie about something like that?" Upon that, I fell to my knees, bawling. I wasn't sure why. It wasn't me who was the slut. It wasn't me who was caught passionately kissing some old person. But I cried anyway. I cried until I heard Evan just say,
    tab "Nathon? You ok?" And this time, I answered honestly,
    tab "No. I'm not ok."