• May Your Luck Never be a “Gonnar”



    Gonar was a cruel leader. He was considered evil amongst the most evil, and scared even the bravest man. No one dared to speak out against him because he heard nearly everything with his white, fluffy ears.

    Yes, you heard my correctly. White, fluffy ears. You see, Gonar was a rabbit. He ruled his land with an iron grip, and even though he had royal advisers, never used their advice. He was bull-headed and the meanest little bunny you could ever imagine.

    Gonar was rather cocky in his superiority, and it was common among the land to hear him bragging to his royal advisers. A common thing that he liked to boast about were his fighting skills.

    “If anyone ever managed to chop so much as a limb off of me, I would grant the holder of that limb unimaginable luck.” “Of course,” he always added, “that would never be possible, would it?” He said this as though it was a statement rather than a question, and because of this none of his royal advisers dared to say otherwise.



    The weeks turned to months, and the months to years, and still Gonar remained in power. And, still his deal held—If anyone managed to sever one of his limbs, whoever possessed this limb would be enveloped in luck. It was this deal was what started the legend of the rabbit's foot.



    ***

    A certain Timothy Thomas was going along his business one day when he happened to pass Gonar in the street. Gonar was in a bad mood that day (his order of carrots had been delayed) and so he tripped Timothy and sent him sprawling into a puddle of mud. Timothy got up, wiped himself off with as much dignity as he could muster, and then hurried along down the road away from the horrid king. Suddenly, an idea struck him.

    “Gonar!” he called, running back towards the him, “I accept your challenge! You and I shall fight to the death, and if I win, you will hand over your position as king and, as you draw your dying breath, you will grant me my promised luck.”

    “Pardon?” Gonar ask, bemused that he had just been challenged to a fight to the death.

    “I accept your challenge, and I will sever one of your limbs and kill you while I do it. Do I make myself clear?” Timothy replied.

    “Clear as glass!” Gonar barked, “Head home, and say your last words to your loved ones. We battle at dawn!”



    Covered from head to toe in golden battle armor, a platinum sword in his hand, Tim braced himself for what was about to come. The king stood at the other end of the clearing, surrounded by his royal advisers. Timothy was an adequate fighter, but now he regretted that he had challenged the king. His only comforting thought was that at least he, unlike all the other rabbits, had been brave enough to do it.

    Suddenly, a bugle sounded and a rabbit hopped out into the middle of the clearing. “Fight!” he yelled, and then scampered away to safety.

    With a savage cry, the king began speeding towards Timothy like a train. Tim had only just registered what was happening when the king was directly in front of him. Tim, using his strong legs, jumped straight up into the air and landed on the kings head. The king writhed and tried to shake off Tim, but to no avail. The king reached back with his sword and started stabbing dangerously close to where Timothy perched, and he was forced to hop off. As he hit the ground, he rolled neatly and planted the butt of his sword on the ground as a brace against the king's weight. As the king turned to meet Tim, his side was sliced by the sword and blood began pouring out in maroon river. With a cry of pain, the king sliced at Tim with his sword, but Tim had predicted the move. He hopped quickly to the side and hacked at the king's foot. Injured and bleeding, Tim's attack was enough to unbalance the king and he capsized. Tim quickly severed the foot and took Gonar's sword.

    “I want my luck,” Tim demanded.

    The king muttered a quick, incomprehensible phrase and stated simply “It is done. Now finish your job and take your place as king.”

    Tim was a merciful rabbit and, now that he had what he wanted, he decided to let the king live.

    “My first wish is that Gonar is healed!” And so it was.

    He announced to the king's previous advisers, “You are now mine and I am now yours. Spread the word that there is a new king.”

    Under the rule of Tim Thomas, the land flourished. Not one rabbit went hungry, and everywhere there was happiness. The Thomas dynasty lasted for centuries, each generation more successful than the last. Life had never been so great.



    ***

    When the age of the rabbits died out and man took their place, the customs of the rabbits never left. They are still with us today, and that is why it is common to carry around the foot of a rabbit. Next time you need a little extra luck, remember Gonar, Timothy, and the story of the rabbit's foot.