death tears

• Artist: bittersweet1313
• Description: i was bored at school and i love to wright!!!
• Date: 07/01/2010
• Tags: death tears

Death tears

There I was standing dead still when I heard crying in the next room of my new apartment. As I crept over to the other room; I carefully opened the door when I saw a beautiful little girl curled up in a ball on my couch crying. She had silky long black hair and was wearing a long white sleeping gown. She looked up at me as I neared her; her eyes were an ice blue filled with sadness, yet somehow mesmerizing. Her skin was as white as paper, with ruby red lips glistening in the light. The little girl looked at me with her mesmerizing eyes and whispered “where is he?” she hadn’t moved an inch when I realized she was right next to me looking at me with frightened eyes, whispers once more “where is he?”

I hadn’t seen her for two months after that but I had a feeling like that little girl was watching my every move of every day. It was uncomfortable for the longest time, but I had gotten use to the feeling.

4 months later

Every now and again I would try and communicate with the child. She would show up at the weirdest times and repeat that same line over and over again. Until I had finally been able to talk to her. She says her name is Kirakai. She has been searching for her father since he disappeared three years ago

Comments

[Gigi Spce]

What about this?

" She had skin so pale, and Bright red lips. Her looks were terrifiying though there is something in her features that were somewhat meaningful yet sad..."
Nahhhh.. That wouldn't do XD

[xXDark-AkaruXx]

ok xCynicalX

first things first ur right about the paper and the a pure white is really good but you have no imagination at all try getting more into the mythical things ruby red lips its a good line and its only a writing its not a book so try harder at learning imagination will ya then write me and no im not bittersweet1313 but im her friend

[XCynicalX]

Be careful how you describe things. "White as paper," doesn't really fit because not all paper is white. And if you want to make the little girl sound beautiful, maybe try another word besides paper. Maybe "a pure white," would work. And since the girl is young I don't think she would have "ruby red lips". She a little girl and that is usually used to describe women.