• The Wedding Girl


    I walk into the church and am momentarily stunned by its beauty. It has pure white walls; the left and right have three large, golden-rimmed windows, with green leaves hanging from the top corners. It lets in the light from the bright sun. The ceiling is dome-shaped and shows a scene of white fluffy clouds and blue sky. There is a large golden cross hanging on the wall opposite the entrance with stained glass windows depicting a story of Mary and Jesus Christ on either side of it. A beautiful, old, brown grand organ is near the left corner. Standing underneath the cross is a chubby priest with thinning grey hair; golden-rimmed glasses are in front of his crystal blue eyes. He's wearing a white ceremonial robe, with a long white scarf hanging loosely around his neck. He holds a thick, black-covered book in his hands; its edges have a yellowish tint from all the years it had been used. Standing beside the priest is him. Luke Dallas. He is my best friend and also the man I've desired since the beginning of high school and still desire to this day and maybe will forever! Short brown hair with light brown eyes, he's dressed in a grey tuxedo with a black bow tie. As I walk down the red carpet, I pass by many brown benches where the guests sit, dressed in formal attire. I smooth out the imaginary creases of my mint green strapless dress, which falls at my knees and tuck a piece of my curled chocolate-brown hair behind my ear and out of my face. I look at him and see him smiling at me. Smiling back I give him a quick wave.

    “Ari!” a voice calls; I turn my head and see that the voice came from Olivia Johnson.

    “Ollie!” I call back. She rushes over to me and the frilly parts of her blue halter dress bounce up and down.

    “I can't believe you're here!” she squeals, suffocating me with one of her killer hugs. We stop hugging and make our way to the second row of benches to the right. Sitting with each other, we talk about what we've done since we graduated. Olivia is my other best friend; we've been friends since seventh grade. She has short honey-brown hair that falls right below her chin. Heart-shaped face and crystal blue eyes, I can tell that she hasn't changed since we last saw each other, personality wise at least. “Can you believe that most of us are getting married soon?”

    “Ah! I know! We're so old now! So, any guys in your life at the moment?”

    “Maybe...” she tells me of how she and Jake met.

    “So, I guess you're the next one to get married eh?”

    “Haha, hopefully! So Ari,” she gives me the look she always gave when she wants to know who I currently have interest for, “any guy I should know about?”

    “...Umm...” I steal a quick glance at Luke and then look at my feet hoping that Olivia didn't notice, “no, not really. A-a-at least I don't think so...”

    “Oh, okay. Well, we'll definitely have to find someone for you then!”

    “Yeah, hopefully...” A few of our old high school friends show up and we all give each other suffocating hugs, showing how much we missed one another. After a while, it is time for the ceremony to begin and we all sit down. The organist begins to play the Bridal Chorus on the grand organ. Oh boy, what have I gotten myself into? Would just seeing this scene hurt me? Watching as the person I my love forever as he chooses to be forbidden to me and dragged out of my reach. Is it too late to leave? My heart is beating so fast! I have to calm myself down. Ariana Luvington, do not be weak at this moment! It's the day of your best friend's wedding, you should be happy for him! Ugh! How can I be happy? I'm going to live in misery and always regret not telling him my feelings! Why does it have to be too late? Why was I such a coward back then? The big, brown, wooden doors open. I hate myself so much right now. I hate that I am feeling bittersweet about this wedding. I hate the bitter part. I hate it. I hate it! I hear the footsteps from a distance slowly walking to their destination. I should turn around and at least take a peek right? But I'm too afraid to, because what if I start crying? Seeing her in her wedding dress would be like a slap in the face. Actually no, it would be more like a stab in the chest. And right now it feels like I may fall to pieces! I gather enough courage and turn around to see Mia dressed beautifully in a long, white, strapless wedding gown. Her blond hair styled into an updo, natural makeup surrounds her light blue eyes and she is holding a bouquet of white gardenias, baby's breaths, white forget me nots and purple freesias. Her father — a broad shouldered, tall man, with salt and pepper coloured hair— is dressed in a black tuxedo with his left arm linked to her right. They finally reach Luke, and Mia's father takes her hand and places it in Luke's. Her father is smiling with joy and leaves to take his seat in the front left row. My heart begins to ache. It feels like I can't breathe. I feel my eyes get hot. I just want to get out of here. This is torture! The priest begins to speak. I take a deep breath and look at Luke. I start to think of the first time we met...

    It was the beginning of freshman year when I met him. We had the same classes for all of first and second semester. When I first saw him, I instantly judged him. I immediately labeled him as a player; given his good looks and charisma. I told myself to not fall for this guy, because he probably has his way with words. In every class, I chose to sit in the seat closest to the window and he chose the seats that were around the centre of the class. The next day, all of the teachers made a seating plan and each one of them, had decided to seat him next to me, hoping that it would make him stop talking. It didn't work according to plan. Somehow, this boy who I at first had no intention in getting to know at all, had made me want to get to know him. I slowly found out that my judgments were entirely wrong. He was in fact the opposite of everything I thought! His actions towards others, showed who he really was. After all, actions spoke louder than words. He was the first boy who I had ever met who meant what he said and said what he meant. I didn't know about my feelings until Olivia confronted me; apparently it was obvious to everyone else but myself. When I realized this, everything changed. He now was able to control my emotions through his words and his actions. My heart would beat faster when he was around, I went on long rants, and couldn't help but to smile whenever I heard the name Luke Dallas...

    I know that I am smiling right now. I always smile when I think of him. I hadn't realized this until one day I replayed a scene of what happened between him and I in my head and my mother asked me why I was grinning. Why on earth did you have to talk to me in the first place Luke Dallas? Look at what you've done! It's not fair! Why was I the only one who fell and not you? Why are you so oblivious to the fact that you are tearing me apart? My attention went to the priest in order to distract me from thinking of him again.

    “For all seasons bring with them their own special moments and memories” recites the priest. Seasons bring with them their own special memories. This phrase kept repeating itself in my head and another memory of Luke and I replay in my head...

    On a starry summer night after our junior year, we were walking home after hanging out with some of our friends; just talking and occasionally looking up at the sky. We both saw a shooting star. I immediately closed my eyes and intertwined my fingers against my chest and wished for the usual, which was happiness and good health for those who I cared for.

    “Do you believe that wishes come true through shooting stars?” I asked, curious to know his answer.

    “Hmm...kind of, I mean there isn't scientific proof of it, but I do. I made a wish on one, one time. And it sort of came true.”

    “Sort of?” and he told me his story of the miracle which occurred through wishing on the shooting star he saw.

    “Do you believe in it? Ha sorry, I mean, you obviously do, judging by your reaction,” he said chuckling.

    “Of course I do!” smiling at him I said, “Nothing is ever impossible. You just gotta put your heart into it and anything can come true. As long as you believe, it will come true.”

    “Your love for each other will grow deeper with every passing day”, recites the priest. I look at Luke once again. I look at Luke and Mia together. Hand in hand with adoring eyes for the other person. I fight my eyes in the battle of not releasing a single teardrop...

    It was winter. Just before everyone went for Christmas break, my friends came over to my house. All was going well, so I decided that I would muster up enough courage and tell Luke my feelings for him. I mean — if it didn't go well, hopefully two weeks would be enough for the awkwardness to leave. Maybe I would even be able to get over him during these two weeks. Luckily, before I humiliated myself, he asked me for advice; he didn't know what to give to his new girlfriend. My chest felt like it was being twisted and tied in knots, it hurt so much. Hiding my emotions, I smiled and told him what the best gift to give would be, based on the information he told me about her. Mia Watson was described as the most gorgeous girl he had ever met, the most beautiful, the most perfect relationship he’d ever had. My heart felt like it was slowly being torn apart. I continued to smile. From then on, I was careful of my actions. I didn’t want to touch him, not even a friendly hug, a pat on the shoulder, or a high five. Each touch reminded me of how forbidden he was. He belonged to her. To him, everything was a friendly gesture, since he saw me as a friend, nothing more. To me, each touch meant more; it made me feel good. I was addicted to having his attention and yet, each time I did, it stung. Whenever I was happy to be with him, I felt guilt. I felt guilt because I felt that my intentions for talking to him were because of my feelings. Guilt because I was not suppose to have any sort of image of him and I being in a relationship with each other, I was not suppose to hope that one day something would change, yet I did. I kept thinking what if this happened, what if that happened. I was not supposed to have these thoughts. And because I did, I felt guilt. Each touch brought guilt because no matter how friendly and simple it was to him, to me, I felt that I was a horrible person for wanting him. Each touch brought guilt.

    “To truly love another person is to be willing to accept both their strong points, and their weak points, with equal measures of respect and understanding,” says the priest…

    I remember when I tried to get over him. But, the harder I tried, the more he was there in my thoughts. My friends and I tried to list his flaws, but to me he had none. I saw that his flaws were his strengths as well. To me he was perfect the way he was. With each flaw stated, I’d say something I’d love about it with a smile.

    I remember the time I felt that I really would get over him. It was the first time I saw him together with Mia. I was tired on that long day, and was more vulnerable to my feelings. He had planned for all our friends to meet her at this restaurant. When I saw her holding onto his arm, both of them clearly in love with each other, my heart had definitely broken. It was the most excruciating pain I had ever experienced in my life. I tried my best to fight the tears, but knew I couldn’t. Just a little bit longer I thought.

    “Sorry, but my mom just texted me and wants me to go home now. It was nice meeting you Mia,” I lied, trying my best to sound cheerful. I started to walk out of the restaurant we were all in, and as soon as I was out, I began to run. I didn’t know where I was going, but anywhere to escape them. Anywhere to erase the image I saw. Reality had hit me and slowly sunk in. Tears streamed down my face. I felt like I was not even controlling my own two feet. It felt nice to finally let everything I held in, out. Letting go, and running through the freezing winter afternoon, which felt hot to me.

    Days after that, I tried to be myself. I had everyone fooled. I tried to avoid him as much as possible, because each time I had his attention and became slightly happy from receiving a smile, I felt guilt.

    After high school, we had not seen each other. Then, 5 years later, we bumped into each other at a local café. I could sense that I was not fully over him, for my heart still reacted to every action he did and every word he said. It stung to hear that he was getting married; yet seeing him smile made me feel happy for him. He invited me to his wedding with Mia.

    “Mia, will you take Luke to be your husband, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish his friendship and love him today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor him, laugh with him and cry with him? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?”

    “I do.”

    “You may kiss the bride.” I feel that sting once again. Then, I see him smiling and full of joy, and immediately feel truly happy for him. My heart miraculously didn’t feel pain after seeing him smile. I am happy that he found love. I am glad that I came to their wedding. Because, to be able to witness two people who are happily in love with each other is a beautiful thing. Even though he and I are not meant to be, I am thankful that I was able to fall in love with this man.