• Day by day I wonder back to my past and ask myself. How could I fall for something I knew so much not to fall for in the first place. Did I fall in love with the man...or the feeling? The feeling of being loved. Was I falling in love with vanity? So when I looked into his beautiful eyes I felt secure again. Or was it just falling in love with something I've never had before. Someone to call me beautiful, and want to kiss me. Well this is right, I had never had this from a guy, that played everything so well. But found that he was playing the same tricks at the same time for many other girls. Most guys don't realize, once you kiss a girl...she'll always love you. Even if you did something horrible, there's a small part of her you stole from her. Even if you hadn't reseived it yet, words could do the same. It takes a lot to say "I love you" to a guy I view more than just a best friend. But I did; and his reply was scouling. I learned not to trust another guy with my full heart again.
    He's addicting, like a drug. Like heroine, you meet it, you inject it, you get attatched, you have to have it, and you can become clean but you know you'll always want it forever. Thats like him, I know he's bad. He walks in the night, with pure gold eyes, breaks hearts, cuts himself. But when you meet him...it turns into something completely different. He walks in the night because the moon is so beautiful, his eyes are bright gold and looks beautiful under the gleam, he gives girls a chance to feel what love feels like, and he cuts himself for the risk. You take in his love, you fall head over hills. He tricks you, you're together so much you can't become detatched. Seeing his face and hearing his voice will make your whole day happy, but only if it's directed towards you. And when you try to forget about him, completely exlude him from your life. You can't stop thinking about him. You see him all the time and you can't stop thinking about him. He gets in you dreams. And the worst part is, he's always with his girl. He's with her in your thoughts, in sight distane of you, in your consiousness.
    I actually wish I were her. I want that feeling. I want that feeling of being held or even a simple kiss. And He has ruined that
    You can act a happy soul on the outside but the truth is, on this inside you're dying.