• I weakly picked up the glass of cold water and set it between my lips. I let the water, ice chips and all, slide down my parched palette. For 24 hours I had been craving this moment. But in more ways then one, I had been craving it longer than that. This moment when I could sit next to my father and know that he wasn't going anywhere. This moment where I can enjoy my lyfe and not have to act older than I am. This is the moment I had been craving all my lyfe. And as I think about it... we're all thirsty. We all crave something and for me... this new home, this new lyfe, this fresh start.... it's my fresh cold glass of water after the day of Atonement (a day of fasting where we don't eat or drink from sundown to sundown).

    I took ill on the day of Atonement and slept for most of the day. My friends call it cheating. "Jesus wasn't asleep on the cross so you have to be awake and suffer lyke he did." I call it "I'm sick so I'm taking my tired a** to sleep" While I was awake I was ravenous. I spent my time on vSide, never logging off, knowing I would be on again with in the next hour or so. I struggled to get through the day, waiting for sundown so I could smash my Chinese food and corn-chips.

    After I had taken my fill of food and water, my head began to clear.... the next day was the day my dad was to have surgery.... so much was going to happen that day but I was only concerned about him. I remembered how I felt... sitting all alone waiting on my special surgeon from Alaska to cut me open and take all the toxins out. I sat teary eyed on the futon that was my bed and cried for my dad even tho he was still alive, afraid that I might loose him. He heard my sniffles and sobs and made his decent downstairs.

    I wiped my face with the long sleeves of my penguin pajamas and tried to act as though my allergies were bothering me. Of course he saw right through me, gave me a hug and told me everything would be alright. I hung on to him tighter still and tried to be strong knowing that this may be the last hug I would ever receive from him. He kissed my forehead one last time and made his way upstairs for the night. I'd never been so scared, so terrified. I put my head to the pillow but couldn't blink. Eventually, I heard him calling me the next morning for school.