• COOL NIGHT AIR

    Shaking. Can’t control. Words trailing off page. Adrenaline racing through my veins. It’s so cold. Shivering. Not shaking. Pull blankets closer. They ran away. Not warm enough. Curl up smaller. Back muscles strain. Teeth chatter. Not fair.

    A hand against my forehead. Taking my temperature. Soft murmur. Can’t make out words. Strong arms around me. Pulling. What are these arms doing? Who do they belong to? Groaning. Stiff. Vague. Lips at my ear. Breath on my neck. More noise. Words that don’t make sense.

    No more pulling. Moving. Hand against my cheek. More words. Focus. Open your eyes.

    Green and blue. One eye each. Eyes shining with worry. Is something wrong? Try to talk. Mouth won’t move. Hands shaking as I reach out. Fingers clutch at warm material. Safe. Secure. Try to pull it closer. Arms around me again. A hug. No pulling or moving. Just warmth.

    Heartbeat thumping in my head. Another echoing in my ear. Soft jumper. Cold denim. Hands rubbing over my arms. Fingers smoothing my hair. Trapped in curls. Whimper. Tremble. Hang on tighter.

    Don’t let me go.

    Moving again. Protest. Too tired. Arm around my back. Another under my legs. Hold on tight. Lifted up. Turning. Walking. Uneven pace. Lowering down. Mattress dips. Can’t let go. Hands unlatch my fingers. I cry out.

    Don’t leave me.

    Hesitation.

    You’re thinking.

    Mattress dips further. The warmth of your body beside me. Arms wrapped tightly around me. Shoulders and waist. Holding me close. Keeping me warm. Safe in your arms. Nowhere else.

    Your breath against my neck again. Light kisses to my face. Whispers still inaudible. Maybe this is happiness. Reassuring presence of a near stranger. No history. No hurt. No pain. I like it. Close my eyes. Feel safe as I only do now. I trust you.

    Blankets around us. Soft voices. Two this time. Leave me alone. I’m happy. I’m tired. Let me have this peace. Solace for a few small hours.

    Eyes drift closed. Pulse slows down. You think I’m asleep. I finally hear you. Whispering.

    “Be at peace, my love.”

    Smile graces my lips. Curl into your side. Hide my smile. Nuzzle your shoulder. It’s over now. No more decisions to make. It’s you and me and the cool night air.