Falling

• Artist: weirdochik
• Description: mm...im not so sure about this. i was actually sorta depressed when i wrote it, haha, but it turned out a lot better than i thought it would, so i thought i'd put it up and see what you guys thought. (this must be the fourth or fifth variation on this poem already, and im not sure if its any good or not...) any kind of feedback would be great! =) thanks!
  
  oh, and btw, any grammar mistakes (ignoring of periods, commas, total lack of capitalization) WAS on purpose... just to let you know ^^
• Date: 02/04/2009
• Tags: falling love flying

Its not quite love
-yet-
but i think i'd call it

falling- nothing to grasp
on to, no way to be in
-control-
that feeling of giddiness, and you are
-weightless-

thats the part where
you can pretend you are flying
until the ground comes rushing up
to crush you, and you lie,
broken
defeated on the ground
never knowing if you have the strength to
climb back up
and that's what's so damn terrifying.


they say the eyes are the
windows to the soul.
through those windows lie
lakes of color
and its so easy to get lost,
drown in the pools of
emotion

but in your eyes, i see
the sky
bright,
open,
the forever.
and suddenly, i'm not so scared of
falling
or drowning
because i know i can fly
together, through forever
hands clasped tightly.

and never come down.

Comments

[290DarkStars]

Yup.. its surly art. I really wish, though, that youd not say words such as "damn" and crap like that. also... the conclusion kinda left me thinking about God rather than what you where looking for. I also say that if you rhymed, it would have a more flaverful essence. Good work, but you could do better. 3/5

[5_Demonic Angel_5]

oh wow thats really something xD
really visualizes breaking apart 'falling'