This is my poem.

• Artist: Savinien
• Description: Goal: Posting a poem every 1-2 days.
• Date: 05/13/2009
• Tags: poem

This is my poem.
An empty home.
A place where nothing is conceived,
no creativity released.

This is my poem,
A blank page of loose-leaf paper,
on which a couple of words are plopped down
like a spring drizzle.

But nature’s law runs backwards
and now those words are covered
by the frost of autumn.

I forgot to cover those sparse words up,
give them fertilizer and let them grow,
and they died
right in front of my face.

Comments

[emeraldpuppy9]

great, but i personally feel the word choice of "this is my poem" takes away from the impact of the poem a bit
i dunno, just us "my poem" or "within my poem" or "through my written word" or sumthin lik that XDD
still, great job, i love ur imagery as always ;D

[HarajukuGirl92]

I liked it, Really Cool! smile

[METRO SKiiES]

Great ideas, great images. I think you've really got the content of poems down (I've read another of your poems already), but there is usually one or two little things that set the whole thing off balance. In this poem, I love the ideas that you present, but there are two phrases that kill the feeling for me: "On which a couple of words are plopped down," and "And they died right in front of my face." The words there sound very common and almost like slang. It takes away from the great poem.