Dark Night & The Light

• Artist: LillyOrozaki
• Description: i wrote this poem today during class and during lunch,
  when i wrote this i kinda felt inspired of somthing don't know what was i inspired of but i came up with this poem i feel very great about myself when i wrote this.
• Date: 07/31/2009
• Tags: dark night light

In the dark I must sleep; In the dark i am weak; I will soon seek what is getting me, but will it let me it ; will it let me bring it ; The daark is strong but i am weak this darkness is decreases my courage; " what is it?" i said "what is what?" the dark echoes out; " that light" I said; The light makes mehear and think; I see it, it is looking at me, but what is it...... it is me, myself in the light! it is me, the strong me, the happy me; it says that i'm so weak because I am always sad and quite; " thats why i am weak" I siad "will you let me come to you?" I said " yes i will let you, if oly you are happy and not being shy" the happy, strong me said that; it came to me and pulled me to the light, I'm happy now, I'm strong, I am socializing; the dark is still here but only for sleeping; I am strong , I can sleep, and i'm no longer weak; the Dark is now a peaceful sleeping place to be

Comments

[SilvertongueSagittarius]

first, I like where your thoughts are at with it. It's a cool concept. Try using some more complex rhymes though. you use the same words over and over in it. Oh, and please put it in bar format,it makes it so much easier to read.
I'll give you a 3 with room for improvement

[iiazncookiegirl]

its nice ^^