• It’s all around me
    In every direction I look
    Nothing but… darkness
    I have no sight
    But the sounds
    The horrible sounds
    The cries and screams
    They fill my ears, mind, and dreams
    Everyone pulls at my heart
    Like each one comes from someone dear
    Even though I know it’s no one

    Am I going mad?
    Have I lost my sanity?
    What is left of what was once my mind?
    What will be left?

    A light teases me in the dark
    It sits there telling me to follow
    She calls to me but when I try to follow I’m pulled away

    At first I wanted to get to the light for a way out
    Now I don’t care if I ever get out
    I just want to be with my light
    I just want to be with her

    Sometimes we sit against this invisible barrier that separates us
    We should be back to back and it drives me mad to think
    To think she is so close yet far away

    Without Lona I would most definitely go mad
    Last night I couldn’t sleep because the screams
    She sung to me
    And its like nothing else mattered
    I don’t understand her
    She seems like the only sane one here
    Everyone else lost it long ago
    But that look in her eyes
    So peaceful

    I want to be with her forever
    We play games
    Even when she is sad she coveres it up for me
    I felt like the darkness wasn’t so bad anymore

    I saw lona cry today
    The piece and happiness in her eyes
    Gone…
    Just like that
    And I ran to her and I resisted the darkness best I could but
    I am not strong
    Strong enough
    I am pathetic even now I am angry at myself

    I never thought anyone could be so amazing
    She is different from people not only here but in reality
    I don’t understand her
    But that is probably what attracted me to her

    I ran out of ink
    But the cut I had gave me an idea
    I find myself laughing and talking to myself at night
    Lona still stays with me
    I don’t understand why though
    She is becoming more like me
    I will her sanity soon drift as well
    Only time will tell
    I hear the screams still it seems like the louder she sings the louder they scream
    Like they refused to be ignored or silenced

    I use to not consider myself human
    But how could anyone consider someone who has done such things human
    What I don’t understand is how she got here
    When I ask she says she has done horrible things as well but…
    I think she lies
    Is she here just for me?
    I can’t imagine her doing that
    There must be something else there is no other explanation

    It’s funny
    My pain is funny
    My misery
    Makes me laugh I can’t stop laughing
    Its so painful yet so funny
    WHAT DO I DO
    MAKE IT STOP
    HAHA
    MAKE IT STOP PLEASE
    HAHA HAHA
    AHHHHHHH
    HA HA HA HA HA HA

    I thought I was going to lose it but my light is helping me
    She told me her name was Lona today
    I can stop calling her my light now
    I saw a man fall over and start laughing
    He had tears in his eyes and was
    Screaming
    Asking for it to stop
    Yet laughing all at once
    It was horrible
    Ii hope that never happens to Lona

    Lona found me
    While I was laughing
    She told me to please stop
    She put her hands on me to try and hold me still
    But I was shaking to much
    She started to cry
    Now that I’ve stopped I think I need to leave her alone
    I only bring her pain

    Today is May 19 1885
    I know I haven’t written the date in a while
    I am surprised I remember
    Me and Lona talked
    She told me she loved me
    Then she said she was sorry and didn’t mean to make feel uncomfortable
    She said she knew I had enough on my mind
    And that I probably already had a lover
    Then she ran away
    Before I could say a word
    Lona and I talked today
    For the first time since I decided to leave her alone
    She said that she would do anything to make sure what happened doesn’t happen again
    I’m afraid she may do something horrible to herself so I can get out

    We are going to get married
    We talked about it
    I told her how I felt
    And we are going to get married when we get out of this place
    I’m so happy

    I don’t feel like writing today but I know I should
    I have become very ill
    Lona is looking after me but
    I don’t think ill make it
    There is no medicine
    One someone gets in here they are not suppose to leave
    I’m fading fast

    I know I have not written in a long time
    About a year I believe
    Thing got crazy and I lost my notebook
    Lona found it and brought it back
    She is amazing
    Always looking out for me
    Speaking of her
    We have come up with a wedding date
    We were told we will be let out on July 1896
    So we will be married that same day
    I can’t wait
    Wow it really has been long since I have written
    I can’t write the same way as before
    The way I write now is strange

    I’m dying
    I
    Wanted to write this last time
    It,s sad to think I am going to die
    Today of all days
    June 30 1896
    The day before…