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Mood: blank
Song: Naraku no Hana; Shimamiya Eiko

Yum.
Higurashi.
My favorite anime.
'Tis be yummy and full of plot twists.
Yeah.
I uno.
I'm kind of not ...
here.
Per say.
I don't know.
;P
I guess you'd really have to tell me if I'm acting like myself
because I don't even know.
It still hurts.
But what can I do?
:]
He made a choice.
That I asked him to make.
The only thing that bothers me is...
How we got back together.
Even when we knew it was going to crash.
What hurt most is when he admitted it.
That it was stupid.
And we shouldn't have in the first place.
....
It was true but...
Does that mean it was all fake?
None of it was real?
Just a joke?
So bitter.
I'm not me.
I don't cry.
I don't constantly think of him.
I don't want him back.
I'm not this pathetic.
Its not like me to wish ill upon my friends.
....
Or to even question if they are my friends.
Its not like me to over think things this much.
Its not like me to be so attention whore ish.
Its not like me to feel so, oh so, alone.
I don't bite my lip to keep from crying.
I don't grip the sheets to keep from sobbing.
I don't claw at myself to stop the pain.

Half of me wants to hurt you.
Badly.
Half of me want to be friends with you.
Just as bad.
But slowly,
That friendship factor is slipping away.
I want to crawl under a rock and sleep.
Sounds pretty cozy to me.

I want to talk to Connor.
He makes me forget the bad stuff.
He makes me laugh.
And feel good - no matter whats going on.

I want to talk to Brittney.
She makes me feel needed.
She talks me out of the crazy thoughts I have.
She helps me realize it might have not all been fake.

But most of all.
They make me feel surrounded, loved, and not alone.

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