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Its raining here.
Hard, steady drops.
Thunder rumbling through the sky.
Week's been good.
Weekend's been even better.

I wonder why I get so scared to see him.
I went over to his house with Farmer and just got balls a** scared.
I get so scared with people now-a-days.

Not literally.
I don't give a s**t what people think of me anymore.
But connecting with people scares me.
Even worse now.
Especially on a special level.
That you only have with one person.

Hmm.
But I'm not like I used to be.
I'm not going to ignore this or just run away.
I'm dealing with it. Facing it.
I've grown up in more ways than one.
Kinda makes me proud.

Wish I could say the same about you.
Nothing I could do would make you proud.
Haha. Wonder what I am to you.
Probably nothing more than a speck.
But I can deal.
It gets easier ever day.

I miss the s**t out of Lisa.
Last time I talked to her I was pissed at her.
I'm so ******** tired of her thinking she's fat.
She's the ONLY one who thinks that.
She's ******** adorable.
There's nothing wrong with her body.
Absolutely nothing.
I don't want a tooth pick.
I hate girls who are tiny as s**t with no curves.
Ew.
I don't know why she can't see that.
I guess I can't change anything that she's told herself all her life.
Which kind of hurts my heart a little.
But she'll come to realize, eventually, how pretty she is.