You actually threw a question at me that I felt completely speechless to.
Well, I suppose I had been waiting for you to ask it.
Never thought you would though.
Why do I criticize you so much, when in fact, others probably need it more so than you?
I'm almost afraid to answer.
Or maybe its just I don't really know myself.
Here's what I have so far:
I care about you the most.
I've known you the longest.
To me, you're someone special, a best friend forever.
Someone I can't let go of.
Someone I worry way to much about.
And my worry has the tendency to come out as rage.
I just don't get why you don't listen to me.
Why you don't see the situation the way I do.
But then again, your priorities differ from mine.
You're a totally different person than I am.
You're not my pet, not someone meant to follow my every will.
I don't want you to get hurt.
You do dangerous things, you know. ): <
I feel the need to take care of you.
But in reality its you taking care of me.
And maybe.
I haven't forgiven you.
For the things you spoke so long ago.
I like to blame you for all the things that went astray with us.
But its not all your fault.
Its childish of me to think so.
It was childish of me to even break up with you, without talking to you about it in the first place.
Listening to other people seems to get me into trouble.
I want to make you out to be the bad guy, when you're really not.
I hate to admit, I may be the bad guy.
But neither of us are.
Trial and error.
That's what its all about isn't it?
You keep me in line.
You're a story I can't read.
Someone exciting and interesting.
No one else seems to grasp this.
Maybe Kait.
Since her and Bri kinda have the same thing going.
I don't think anyone's really connected on the level we have.
But uhh, yes.
You keep me in line.
Keep'n me straight.
Telling me when I'm wrong, telling me what to do.
Usually I'd find this quite annoying.
But with you, its different.
Not to give you praise.
Not to hold you up higher than the rest.
Just the way you word things.
The way you speak, just...Is so different than the rest.
You told me you thought differently than everyone else, and its so true.
That's one thing I love so much about you.
You're like an alien to me, but feel so familiar.
I find myself going from knowing your every move, to standing there, looking for you. Something so abstract but so tangible.
You're someone I want to keep close, but at the same time I get so tired of that I want completely out of my life.
Brittney and Lisa.
They're a totally different story.
I don't want them telling me what to do.
I don't need them to.
I'm the one who keeps them in check.
They're the people who are my security blanket.
They keep my happiness in tune.
A totally different function than you.
I love them with all my heart, but I couldn't deal if they tried to act your role.
Its hard to explain into words...
And I know you'll read this so I'll just go ahead and say it.
I hate how we don't talk everyday like we once did.
I hate how I can't trust you as much as I once did.
I hate how you've changed.
I hate how we can't be the best friends that I honestly believed that we would be forever.
I hate how bitter I've become with you.
But this isn't really fair of me to say.
Because you really do try with me.
Maybe I haven't put so much effort into this.
I'm so scared of you, terrified.
Yet at the same time I admire you.
Yet at the same time you disgust me.
Yet at the same time I love you so much.
Its a mess of emotions.
Just a big fat mess all over the floor.
Maybe if I tried more.
Just a little.
I take the things you say seriously because I can't tell as I once used to be able to.
I've lost a big chunk of time with you.
I had been discovering you, slowly.
Then it got burned away.
I'm trying to rebuild it.
Little steps at a time.
I'm trying harder not to get so frustrated at you.
Its just hard.
When things are so drastically different.
When you hardly open up and tell me how you feel about this whole thing.
Or maybe you have.
But I'm blind to the answer.
I just want to spill my guts to you.
But then again, I'm afraid you won't care.
Or you'll just be like "okay"
You're the first and last person I'll keep forgiving.
No one else will have that ability on me.
..Haha sounds like some pokemon technique.
And most people ******** hate the fact I still give you the time of day.
But its okay.
They just don't get it.
They won't most likely.
After today though, I feel a tad bit better about you.
Who knows why.
Life is made to be lived.
I followed you in those footsteps.
Not so drastically though.
I've changed.
In some ways, I feel like I've become a lot like you.
In other ways I feel I've gone the complete opposite.
Kudos if you're still reading this. Haha.
And that bet's still on btw.
Well, I suppose I had been waiting for you to ask it.
Never thought you would though.
Why do I criticize you so much, when in fact, others probably need it more so than you?
I'm almost afraid to answer.
Or maybe its just I don't really know myself.
Here's what I have so far:
I care about you the most.
I've known you the longest.
To me, you're someone special, a best friend forever.
Someone I can't let go of.
Someone I worry way to much about.
And my worry has the tendency to come out as rage.
I just don't get why you don't listen to me.
Why you don't see the situation the way I do.
But then again, your priorities differ from mine.
You're a totally different person than I am.
You're not my pet, not someone meant to follow my every will.
I don't want you to get hurt.
You do dangerous things, you know. ): <
I feel the need to take care of you.
But in reality its you taking care of me.
And maybe.
I haven't forgiven you.
For the things you spoke so long ago.
I like to blame you for all the things that went astray with us.
But its not all your fault.
Its childish of me to think so.
It was childish of me to even break up with you, without talking to you about it in the first place.
Listening to other people seems to get me into trouble.
I want to make you out to be the bad guy, when you're really not.
I hate to admit, I may be the bad guy.
But neither of us are.
Trial and error.
That's what its all about isn't it?
You keep me in line.
You're a story I can't read.
Someone exciting and interesting.
No one else seems to grasp this.
Maybe Kait.
Since her and Bri kinda have the same thing going.
I don't think anyone's really connected on the level we have.
But uhh, yes.
You keep me in line.
Keep'n me straight.
Telling me when I'm wrong, telling me what to do.
Usually I'd find this quite annoying.
But with you, its different.
Not to give you praise.
Not to hold you up higher than the rest.
Just the way you word things.
The way you speak, just...Is so different than the rest.
You told me you thought differently than everyone else, and its so true.
That's one thing I love so much about you.
You're like an alien to me, but feel so familiar.
I find myself going from knowing your every move, to standing there, looking for you. Something so abstract but so tangible.
You're someone I want to keep close, but at the same time I get so tired of that I want completely out of my life.
Brittney and Lisa.
They're a totally different story.
I don't want them telling me what to do.
I don't need them to.
I'm the one who keeps them in check.
They're the people who are my security blanket.
They keep my happiness in tune.
A totally different function than you.
I love them with all my heart, but I couldn't deal if they tried to act your role.
Its hard to explain into words...
And I know you'll read this so I'll just go ahead and say it.
I hate how we don't talk everyday like we once did.
I hate how I can't trust you as much as I once did.
I hate how you've changed.
I hate how we can't be the best friends that I honestly believed that we would be forever.
I hate how bitter I've become with you.
But this isn't really fair of me to say.
Because you really do try with me.
Maybe I haven't put so much effort into this.
I'm so scared of you, terrified.
Yet at the same time I admire you.
Yet at the same time you disgust me.
Yet at the same time I love you so much.
Its a mess of emotions.
Just a big fat mess all over the floor.
Maybe if I tried more.
Just a little.
I take the things you say seriously because I can't tell as I once used to be able to.
I've lost a big chunk of time with you.
I had been discovering you, slowly.
Then it got burned away.
I'm trying to rebuild it.
Little steps at a time.
I'm trying harder not to get so frustrated at you.
Its just hard.
When things are so drastically different.
When you hardly open up and tell me how you feel about this whole thing.
Or maybe you have.
But I'm blind to the answer.
I just want to spill my guts to you.
But then again, I'm afraid you won't care.
Or you'll just be like "okay"
You're the first and last person I'll keep forgiving.
No one else will have that ability on me.
..Haha sounds like some pokemon technique.
And most people ******** hate the fact I still give you the time of day.
But its okay.
They just don't get it.
They won't most likely.
After today though, I feel a tad bit better about you.
Who knows why.
Life is made to be lived.
I followed you in those footsteps.
Not so drastically though.
I've changed.
In some ways, I feel like I've become a lot like you.
In other ways I feel I've gone the complete opposite.
Kudos if you're still reading this. Haha.
And that bet's still on btw.
