Mood: Bored
Song: We're All To Blame; Sum 41
And so now it seems.
That nothing will compare to those 5 days.
Now its like everything else is just so boring.
Lost its touch.
Back to the grinder.
Back to the monotonous cycle.
Its kinda irritating. ): <
I had so much fun with Connor.
Just remembering him gives me mega butterflies.
I mean.
I'm happy.
Just not as happy as I was those five days.
And stuff is kinda starting to go to the crapper.
Like stuff with my grandpaw
And then my gramma is becoming lost within her alcohol even more.
Its kinda pathetic.
Not like I'm trying to be an a**?
But god, my aunt was like "Barbara needs to go first or she's just going to kill herself in her bottle."
And then I already have my unnatural fear of death.
Like mega fear.
Anything dying freaks me the ******** out.
I got everything going for me?
Maybe so.
The only thing I can think of at the moment is that I got you.
That's really all I have to call my own and be proud of.
I've always gotten things.
Material things.
This and that.
Yeah I was spoiled.
But I was never really happy, you know?
I did good in school.
Got the grades, had the brain.
Got rewards, had the prizes.
But if you had asked if I was really happy, and to answer truthfully.
I would have said no.
I never really talk about my past in depth.
Not like it was some great tragedy.
But I never really was happy.
So now everyone's all "Omg up Connor's butt"
******** them.
I'm finally freaking happy and all they do is biiiiitch.
Well my aunt does.
Cuz she's so ******** cynical.
talk2hand
Anyway.
I just ranted for no apparent reason in my journal xDD
I hope Connor's dayyydeee lets him come here.
If he ever replies to my emailz!
Song: We're All To Blame; Sum 41
And so now it seems.
That nothing will compare to those 5 days.
Now its like everything else is just so boring.
Lost its touch.
Back to the grinder.
Back to the monotonous cycle.
Its kinda irritating. ): <
I had so much fun with Connor.
Just remembering him gives me mega butterflies.
I mean.
I'm happy.
Just not as happy as I was those five days.
And stuff is kinda starting to go to the crapper.
Like stuff with my grandpaw
And then my gramma is becoming lost within her alcohol even more.
Its kinda pathetic.
Not like I'm trying to be an a**?
But god, my aunt was like "Barbara needs to go first or she's just going to kill herself in her bottle."
And then I already have my unnatural fear of death.
Like mega fear.
Anything dying freaks me the ******** out.
I got everything going for me?
Maybe so.
The only thing I can think of at the moment is that I got you.
That's really all I have to call my own and be proud of.
I've always gotten things.
Material things.
This and that.
Yeah I was spoiled.
But I was never really happy, you know?
I did good in school.
Got the grades, had the brain.
Got rewards, had the prizes.
But if you had asked if I was really happy, and to answer truthfully.
I would have said no.
I never really talk about my past in depth.
Not like it was some great tragedy.
But I never really was happy.
So now everyone's all "Omg up Connor's butt"
******** them.
I'm finally freaking happy and all they do is biiiiitch.
Well my aunt does.
Cuz she's so ******** cynical.
talk2hand
Anyway.
I just ranted for no apparent reason in my journal xDD
I hope Connor's dayyydeee lets him come here.
If he ever replies to my emailz!
Community Member