Mood: Still shaken up, yo.
Song: Fin; Anberlin
I hate my dreams.
Hate them so ******** much sometimes.
Pretty sure I'm a lucid dreamer so my emotions and junk is multiplied by like 1000.
Ugh.
A dream hasn't shaken me up like that since I had a dream I was at my own funeral.
Jesus. ):
I was with my dad's side of the family. I was supposed to beat Sherry up. Haha that was the fun part.
But then I just...I dunno..
I just finally exploded and told her how I felt and told my dad.
My whole family was like "yeah she's right."
I told my dad he was useless and had no balls. A ******** horrible father for choosing some v****a over his own daughter.
I told sherry she was just a ******** whore. Crazy a** b***h who loves to tear apart families and ruin childhoods. Good luck with her own child lmao.
Then I told my dad about how he's let her tear up our family. And he was all like "WELL I'M GOING TO LEAVE HER. I PROMISE"
Oh god I just. Almost slapped him. I straight up said "Shut the ******** up. Don't make me empty promises like you always do. I'm ******** tired of it."
He just stared at me.
Sean jumped into my arms and he was so warm. He was there for me. Idk how to explain it..The only good thing in the horrible mess of monsters.
I was crying so hard in my dream that it was suffocating. I couldn't talk, I couldn't breathe.
I woke up trying to catch my breath.
I was so ******** scared. I have no idea why. It was so..Vivid. And hurt so much. I woke up crying, and just cried harder. Because the dream was so real, so true. I guess I finally realized nothings going to change between my dad and me. He's not going to give up his lifestyle for his daughter.
I felt so alone for the first time in awhile. It made it worse that no one was in the house. Just quiet. I wish Connor had been there. I wish I could have cried into his arms instead of into a stupid pillow.
I felt so horrible I had to drag myself out of bed. I just wanted to lay there and let the agony pass lol. But I knew it just wouldn't go away if I just was a bump on a log. I dunno. I still feel really alone and on the verge of crying. Its stupid.
I want to tell someone about it. I told Brittney. But I dunno. She has enough to deal with so I didn't really go into details. I just wanna be able to gush to someone about it. So they can just be like "Yo its okay man. Calm down. I'm here."
Great way to start off my day. ; ___ ;
Song: Fin; Anberlin
I hate my dreams.
Hate them so ******** much sometimes.
Pretty sure I'm a lucid dreamer so my emotions and junk is multiplied by like 1000.
Ugh.
A dream hasn't shaken me up like that since I had a dream I was at my own funeral.
Jesus. ):
I was with my dad's side of the family. I was supposed to beat Sherry up. Haha that was the fun part.
But then I just...I dunno..
I just finally exploded and told her how I felt and told my dad.
My whole family was like "yeah she's right."
I told my dad he was useless and had no balls. A ******** horrible father for choosing some v****a over his own daughter.
I told sherry she was just a ******** whore. Crazy a** b***h who loves to tear apart families and ruin childhoods. Good luck with her own child lmao.
Then I told my dad about how he's let her tear up our family. And he was all like "WELL I'M GOING TO LEAVE HER. I PROMISE"
Oh god I just. Almost slapped him. I straight up said "Shut the ******** up. Don't make me empty promises like you always do. I'm ******** tired of it."
He just stared at me.
Sean jumped into my arms and he was so warm. He was there for me. Idk how to explain it..The only good thing in the horrible mess of monsters.
I was crying so hard in my dream that it was suffocating. I couldn't talk, I couldn't breathe.
I woke up trying to catch my breath.
I was so ******** scared. I have no idea why. It was so..Vivid. And hurt so much. I woke up crying, and just cried harder. Because the dream was so real, so true. I guess I finally realized nothings going to change between my dad and me. He's not going to give up his lifestyle for his daughter.
I felt so alone for the first time in awhile. It made it worse that no one was in the house. Just quiet. I wish Connor had been there. I wish I could have cried into his arms instead of into a stupid pillow.
I felt so horrible I had to drag myself out of bed. I just wanted to lay there and let the agony pass lol. But I knew it just wouldn't go away if I just was a bump on a log. I dunno. I still feel really alone and on the verge of crying. Its stupid.
I want to tell someone about it. I told Brittney. But I dunno. She has enough to deal with so I didn't really go into details. I just wanna be able to gush to someone about it. So they can just be like "Yo its okay man. Calm down. I'm here."
Great way to start off my day. ; ___ ;
