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I think I text people stuff so they don't forget about me.
Especially with Connor.
I don't know.
I just have this strange fear that if I don't reach out, they'll forget.

Or that he'll just...Dunno.
That he'll just forget I exist.

Which is silly.

I honestly have no idea where this paranoia came from.
Just like how I don't know where my hatred of people came from.

They're all animals in my eyes.
Searching always for something.
Then when they find what they want, they want more and more and more.
We're all looking for affection.
And its such a simple little thing like just hugging.
But none of us can seem to find it.
Or we just ********.

******** isn't affection.
Making love is affection.
Lately people just want sex and sex. Mindless sex.
We've become fat greedy animals.

But people still fascinate me.
Its almost sickening to analyze them.

You're an enigma.
Which is what I love about you.

I wish we didn't connect so well.
It'd be oh so much easier.
But at the same time, we both just lead such boring lives.
I'd like to think that we somehow spark up each other's lives.
But who knows ;P

Not like you read these things anymore haha

I want to move out of Tennessee.
But where to?
I don't know.
I'm always asking for a more entertaining life, but I never reach out to actually get one.
I'd love to move in with Brittney.
Especially since I want to be a Marine Biologist.

I wonder what you'll be doing in 10 years.
I know I'll be definitely in school, working my a** off. Leading the normal human life.
Kaitlin will be in Cali with Bri becoming a lawyer.
Brittney will be in Miami doing something with the Navy.
Zak will be working in his dad's business.

Wonder what you'll be doing.
Wish you'd DO something cuz you have all that potential.

I hope you ask your mom if I can stay this summer.
I just really wanna hang with you and Zak.