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I'm so frustrated.
With me with you with everyone.
How hard is it to just make a nice gesture.

Am I being that needy?

Because honestly I feel like I'm going ******** nuts.
Why is this time so different?
Why is it so much harder to go back to normal day life this time?

I kind of flipped out on you last night.
Its just irritating.
Waiting and waiting for you to call, and when you do we talk for 10 minutes tops.
And its me doing the talking.

You disappear and then reappear and then disappear.
Why can't you just stay.

Its probably my fault for expecting so much.
For wanting too much.

That's the maddest I've been drunk.
I kind of scared myself. I've never been an angry drunk.

I just wish you understood.
How afraid I am of you just leaving like you're famous for.
Maybe I'm being extra hormonal due to the periodzz.

And even if you were pissed that I was drinking...then what the hell?
You have no right to be mad at me for doing s**t like that.
When you obviously do it even more than I do.
Why are you allowed to do bad kid things, but when I do you shut off?

If it bothers you so much you should tell me.
And not be like "Oh no it doesn't" but then when I'm drunk hardly talk to me and act cold.


I wonder if I scared you off.
Hell I'm scaring myself.
Dependency isn't my thing.
Maybe I need time to myself.
Maybe you needed to be scared off...

Everything just kinda feels shitty right now.