I literally have felt like I'm throwing myself a pity party for the past two days.
I keep getting irritated at people that I have no reason to get mad at.
And I finally figured out why I'm being this way.
I miss my grandpa.
Its as simple as that.
But I honestly didn't want to deal with that pain.
So I pushed it back by being clingy with Connor and being needy with Brittney.
I felt like I could just ease the pain that way.
But they can't do that.
I can't just make the pain of my grandfather's death disappear.
All I did was let it fester and rise up.
I'm such an idiot sometimes, but honestly I had no idea I was doing it..
Also I need to get rid of this silly fear I have.
That they're going to forget about me.
Forget about me completely.
I need them so much in my life right now, why is it so hard to tell them that?
Instead I just yell at Brittney for not texting me,
And with Connor I just cling the hell out of him.
But for now I guess I just kinda want to be alone.
I mean I don't want to be but I feel like I need to be.
Come on 2012.
I keep getting irritated at people that I have no reason to get mad at.
And I finally figured out why I'm being this way.
I miss my grandpa.
Its as simple as that.
But I honestly didn't want to deal with that pain.
So I pushed it back by being clingy with Connor and being needy with Brittney.
I felt like I could just ease the pain that way.
But they can't do that.
I can't just make the pain of my grandfather's death disappear.
All I did was let it fester and rise up.
I'm such an idiot sometimes, but honestly I had no idea I was doing it..
Also I need to get rid of this silly fear I have.
That they're going to forget about me.
Forget about me completely.
I need them so much in my life right now, why is it so hard to tell them that?
Instead I just yell at Brittney for not texting me,
And with Connor I just cling the hell out of him.
But for now I guess I just kinda want to be alone.
I mean I don't want to be but I feel like I need to be.
Come on 2012.
