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It just makes me uncomfortable.
And I know I shouldn't be THAT girl.
And I know it makes me look horrible.

It just doesn't make me comfortable at all.

And I know I should be over it because its stupid.
But it just keeps following me, in the back of my head.

I don't think you realized how sick with anxiety I was when you told me you two reconnected.
I'm even more sick with myself for being so uncomfortable.
I wanted to throw up.

I should trust you two like wtf.
Calm yourself down, Paige.
But I can't.
It just bothers me so goddamn much.

Even everyone else is telling me to cool my tits.
I guess I just need to breathe and deal with it and learn to trust.
I have such shitty trust issues its stupid.
This will quite the test for me.

I know trust you though.
And her.
I know I can. Its just uncomfortable right now. But I'll deal with it.
I feel sort of uncomfortable writing this journal because you'll eventually read it, but I just...Need to get this out of my system.

You'll be here so soon, its not worth fretting over.
I'll get to see you again and hold you and introduce you to my life.
It'll be fantastic.
And I won't be so uncomfortable.