I just tried calling Chris...3 times... I left a message telling him I wondered how he was and that he didn't havet o call em back, but it'd be greatly appreciated. Knowing my luck, he won't. He probably has a beautiful girl. I lost.
What if Joe's right? What if Chris really WAS the perfect relationship? Should I go back to Chris and leave Joe again? Will it work? Will I be happier? My heart says yes. I nearly had a heart attack just trying to work up the courage to call him. Should I dare break it off with Joe to try to rekindle and old love? Does he even still love me? Does Joe realize how much I'm going through and what I feel like?
I'm just.. I'm tired. I want to either be single, or in a long distance. I can't explain why. I just do. I know I also want to be with Chris. ...but he probably found someone by now who is ten times prettier. He is pretty hot himself, they must be drooling all over him in Va. *sigh*
Maybe I should just tell Joe that I can't take it anymore.. because that's exactly how I feel. But I'd hurt him. I hate hurting people. Should I do it? Maybe... I'll take a long think on this one... I'm only 16, it's not marriage... it's a boyfriend.. it's not marriage... it's not marriage... then why do I feel like I'm breaking a vow?
Damn it all to bloody hell... I think I'll just consider breaking it off with Joe... I need to be free... before I hurt anymore.
 haloisbymyhorns · Fri Oct 20, 2006 @ 01:53am · 0 Comments |
