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I hate my life.

I know you have heard that, like, a million times before, and you probably don't want to hear it anymore. i also know that other people probably have it a lot worse than me, which makes me feel even more guilty. But right now that's not what i'm writing about, soooo........here it is:

my parents got a divorce. And at the moment, i hate both of them. My dad keeps telling me this "communication" junk, which makes me just want to punch him in the face. It's hard to describe him, though. He's an engineer, so he's smart. He thinks that he owns me, which is a BIG mistake evil . And he makes me sick. Other than that, he tells me all these lies that he expets me to believe, and then screams at me when i don't "cooperate" with him. He lives in a whole different part of the state that i'm in, and i have to go to his "house" one day a week, and every other weekend. I mean, i don't even have my own room. I hate that he forces me to spend time with him, and all he does is tell me how much better it will be in the future. He is full of crap.

My mom cries all the time and tells me everything that's going on in her life, expecting me to fix it. She tells me that i'm getting "bitter", but she should really look in the miror. She hangs up on me all the time, and walks away when i try to talk to her. I don't have any privacy, exept for my computer. She also complains about how broke we are, and that we can't afford our home. I hate both of my homes, and try to either get out of my house as much as possible, or lock myself in my room, because i can't stand it anywhere else.

Yes, i have had some problems. I was puking for a while, and lost a lot of weight. I write all the time, stories and just random thoughts that fly through my head. it helps me for some reason. Maybe i'll post some of my writings sometime..... (they're all pretty much depressing :O)

people who know me know that i hardly ever show my feelings to them. For some reason all that i can do is smile. It's hard for me to actually say my feelings to anyone, or at least to say them so that i mean it. I'm pretty testy, and i suppose hard to be around because i tend to yell sometimes. But that's me!!