• Dear David,

    Love is a word that not many can comprehend. Most cannot understand, although they call anyone they have ever liked in some way love, it is not true. That is where the TRUE love statement came from. See, when everyone is born, they were put a couple marks on them. That mark can only be touched with love by that true one, only seen, respected, and cherished by that true one. Most people forget this, and they waste their lives instead of finding each other. Keep looking, I say, for the one who loves you truly, and never waste any time. If the one you “love” doesn’t recognize your marks, for only you and your lover can, then they are not true.
    If you waste your life, and die without knowing the one you truly loved, you’ll waste their life too. A life of searching gone to waste. However, God made an overproduction of lovers, so if you don’t find one, there are many others who truly love you. At tops, 15 in this world. Maybe more. Furthermore, if you waste fifteen people, fifteen lives, you shall die, they shall die, and life is gone. Forever.

    The more people more that live to find love, the happier the world will be. Abusive parents, they’re mad because they had never known true love, only their evil spouse, and so they take their anger off on the child.
    I believe, myself, that punching a wall is better than a kid to take out your anger on. And also, hugging a child will erase many of your emotions of sadness and rage.
    The peace… it comes from the quest, the quest for love, the everlasting kind that is always there.

    Some people adapt to true love. They don’t love their true one at first, and think that they’re annoying, but if you stay with that person for as long as you can try, you will grow to love them. That happens sometimes, and isn’t always true, but it happens, as often as it doesn’t. True love is more rare, however, you don’t find that one everyday.

    David, I’m writing this for you because this is my outtake on all this, my thoughts on your search for “the one.”
    It takes time, and I understand, you’re scared of throwing your life away, losing your chance. But first, don’t go out and kiss girls, you’ll never find them. The ones who you think truly love you, just think you’re attractive… not true love, just a being of who you act like.
    I say, get to know the person first, like you did with me, and then, see if they see your marks as I saw in you, I saw a kind person behind the person you act like now. I saw the kindness, the loving kindness in you. Do they? Or do they just see the guy that likes to make them feel better by hugs and kisses?
    Think about it. You and I may not have seen all the marks in each other, but the marks we did see, let them be a sign. If those girls can see those marks that I saw in you, that you see in yourself, and ALL of them, and not your negative remarks, “I’m fat, I’m stupid, I’m an idiot,” because those aren’t true. Those aren’t marks. Those are so negative, it’s like too emo to stand. I’d rather cut myself than hear you say those words, because there are five kinds of smart:
    1st: word smart
    2nd. Music smart
    3rd. Art smart
    4th. Active smart
    And 5th. Academically smart.
    I’m word, art, and music smart, hardly academic. I’d say you’re music and art type.
    Word smart means you have a way with writing, writing makes you feel good in hard times, gets anger out. Music smart, you can relate to music and loves music, and have deep feelings through it. Art, you like to draw or look at beautiful art. It makes you feel a sense of peace inside. Active smart is like jocks. They love sports because they love the adrenaline, the longing for winning. But teamwork and good sportsmanship is good to learn and add to daily life, otherwise they’ll become jerks, and only focus on winning. Academically smart. Smart in all school related things, and tries their best to make their lives better.

    So, you’re not stupid, maybe academically, maybe you can’t express your feelings the right way, and hate yourself that way, because it always comes out wrong, like words. And besides, “the one” doesn’t care about what you look like, they fight to know who you are inside, and don’t give a damn about what you look like.

    Okay, I’ve reached past a page now.

    David, you need to listen to everything around you. Listen to your parents sometime. Ask them why they think you’re useless. Try to change.
    Everyone needs to make changes. See, I used to be a snotty brat when I was younger, but as I got older, I realized who I was, and I changed, it was hard, and sometimes that part of me falls out, but I try to hold it back, because I want to be a new person, I want to start over.
    Also, you need to do some things for yourself, that doesn’t mean getting in trouble, or taking your life away. No, I mean, you have to tell yourself things, like, “I need to change because this,” or, “I noticed I’m like that, and I need to change that side,”
    You’re nice, but sometimes you can be a jerk. It takes a real human being to realize that they’re not perfect, they’re not the person who has it all, never is different.
    You said once that you wanted to know more about God. Being a Christian also includes seeing that you’re not good, you’re evil in ways, and it’s not good at all, it’s the sense of knowing that you need to change, and the knowledge that you can’t do it yourself. That’s where belief comes in, where you believe that Jesus Christ died for you, so that you could change, and that He’s there to help you along that path for change.
    Granted, I’m not all that religious, but I know that all this is just life. And that He’s coming back again, and take those who believe that they are sinners, who believe that only He can truly save them, and they’re just helping the change, God’ll take people like that to heaven to be kings and queens with him for eternity, because they were smart enough to realize their imperfectness, they’re horrible sides, their sinful sides.
    Everything relates to God. Name one thing, and I’ll tell you first hand how it relates to Him. True love that is hard to find, go to God in prayer, and keep asking, and it shall be given to you, you’ll find that one if you pray for help. But maybe you believe your souls is imperfect still. Pray, “Hey God, I know I’m not like you, I know that I’ve done wrong, I’ve done other’s wrong, I’ve hurt people, I want to change, I don’t know if you have come into my heart already or not, but please change me,”
    And if you’re still not sure, pray everyday.
    You know how the semester started out bad? All with talk about mom and all that, right? Well… my dad kept on saying, “Keep this or that in your prayers,” and I did, I prayed to God everyday that it’d get better, sometimes once every hour. And it DID get better. Life took an enormous turn from lemons to all sugar.
    He lives outside of time, so it takes our time to wait, ask, then wait and pray again.
    Change takes much longer, takes a year or two to be fully changed, to feel Him in you. Feel that He’s changed you.
    Good luck, I know this is long, but it needs to be said.
    The reason why people think you’re a jerk is that we felt something for you, and you threw that away. You think you could change that?

    I see you’re scared that you’ll never be loved. But there are people out there who still love you, despite what you’ve done to us. I say us because I’m one of them. I never forgot you, I never will.. Although I say you’re a jerk sometimes, it’s because I’m trying to show you how you act so you can change. You’re more than an older brother to me. Maybe not what we used to have, but still close. I don’t love you, but I think you’re awesome.
    Look for people who do that, and you’ll have a good life, I mean it!


    P.S. Remember all this! Good luck in searching, but next time, wait awhile till you go after another girl, and get to know them until you know them full before you try to find the love in them. You’ll se their marks, and don’t be scared that you’ll miss your chance in meeting someone. There are at least 7 in the world who will see your marks and you’ll see theirs. One gone, you have at least 6 more.