• I can remember sitting down in a church pew and praying, as a child, teenager, young adult, and some other post-adolescent stages that I’m not quite sure how to name. Yeah, that’s what you’re supposed to do, in church, but I wasn’t praying for the same crap the everybody else was praying for. While Little Jimmy was praying that his mom wouldn’t find out that he lit their cat on fire, Dylan was praying that his wife wouldn’t find out about the affair he was having with her 17 year-old sister, and Susan was praying that her husband and son would stop being lying S-O-B's and fess up to the wrongs they committed, I was praying for church to end.

    Sure, that’s probably the most sacrilegious thing I ever could have done, but I didn’t really give a care. Hell, to this very day, I don’t give a care. I’ve never been a fan of going to church. Normally, I found the entire concept of a house of worship somewhat pointless. And I know that most of my readers have already closed this page, crying out, “This is not a statement about the wonders of God! This is the work of the Devil!” Those of you who said this, whether it be out loud or in your mind, are probably also pulling out your crucifixes and Holy Water, again yelling(mentally or not, your methods are nothing to me) at my poor foreword. Only this time, it’s something more along the lines of, “O, work of Lucifer! I condemn thee to an eternity of damnation in the fires of Hell!”

    For those of you who haven’t done any of the above, I applaud you. It’s the people like you who are godly. Not those who walk around and lecture people about the wonders of God, but the people who are able to see beyond all of that religious bullcrap. It’s people like that who inspire me to write things like this. To write things that are totally anti-religious and that would probably earn me a nice place in Hell. Let me tell you, I’m going to enjoy my spot in Hell, while all of you martyrs enjoy your 72 virgins in Heaven. Or maybe I’m wrong, about that, and that’s the rewards for some other psycho religion? I don’t even know, anymore. Nowadays, there are so many different religions that there’s no telling what kind of screwed-up mess some of these religions are feeding to the members of the church. It’s bizarre, really, the insane crap that these religious leaders are spitting out, and it’s even more insane how the cult followers of these leaders gobble up the spit that these people say, and then manipulate or twist these sayings into their own everyday lives. It shocks me, beyond belief.