When we first met we were both in 1st grade. That was the day you claimed to have known me, the day you claimed we were friends before. We were both in the same class, therefore the more I saw you the more I couldn't control my feelings. When school ended, I had made a friend. Sarah. The next year we were in the same class. My best friend Jenna had moved to this school too. It was cool. I had saw her again and was still able to hang out with Sarah. Until that day we played Truth or Dare. Sarah asked Jenna if she liked Kevin. Her answer? Yes. The moment I figure out, was the moment I felt like crying. The moment where I felt like the world was just crumbling on me. Until, Sarah had said that she also LIKED Kevin. My two friends had fallen for him, and so have I. I had not planned on my friends falling for him. Whenever we had sleepovers it was different. Like, I couldn't talk to them, I couldn't say anything to them. They started to drift away from me and started talking to Kevin. Finally, I couldn't bear seeing my friends laughing and joking around with him. I did what every friend would do, what every person who loved a guy enough would do, I gave my feelings for him up. I thought that I had given and lost all my feelings for Kevin, but even after 7th, 8th, even 9th grade I still feel those feelings for him. Every time I see him I think: "Do I look good?" Every time I see him I feel like there are butterflies in my stomach, like I cannot control the feelings I have for him. Even though I cannot be with him I will continue to love him from afar, because I know that he will never love me the way I love him. We are not even friends, yet when we talk and joke, I always feel happier. Whenever I see him I feel the urge to tell him all my feelings for him. Yet, something holds me back. My friends. I am scared they will laugh at my true feelings. I could not tell anyone, yet I wish I could. I wish he would turn around and look at me, talk to me and be my friend. Yet, at the same time I know that if I do that my friends would suspect something. As soon as I talk to him, and tell him something he always says something funny back. Yet we are not friends. I wish to the stars and the world that this guy would realize my feelings for him. I wish to the world, that even if he cannot understand my feelings, that I can keep loving him from afar. This is all that I can wish, for this guy that I love will always be deep down in my heart. No matter how many guys I like, he will always be the #1, no matter how much I want to not like him. Loving and liking him from afar, will already bring a smile to my face and a sentence to my heart saying: "It's okay, I know that I love him. And if I love him, then I should let him have his happiness, because I know, that I am not his happiness, someone else is, I know now, that I will not be his priority, but his support."
heart -BeautiFULazn heart
No comments available ...