• Well today...actualy yesterday i stayed after school to finish up on my school work and that went prety well...but thats not really the pinical of this today. last lnight i could sleep at all....i kept feeling so empty, like there was a big huge hole right in the middle of my torso. i already knew that feeling was of sadness and loss, and the story behind that was all the time i had fallen in love then right as i began to feel like i could relax and just be, the rug just got tugged right from under me... i have lost count of how many of the people i loved that were taken away from me...friends, family, every thing. i had these two friends that seemed to come out of nowere when i felt at my lowest point, that was when i was in 7th grade. i only knew that one was called "Sunny" and the other i called "Danny" and they were like angels. literaly i was planning just to kill myself that night because i just felt so empty and alone but then they came out of thin air, and then there was Maranda. she was just the nicest sweetheart ever... she had the pretyest hair, and she never spoke a negitive word of anybody and i relyed on her just to talk to, and there was Vivion...she was so funny, she always made me smile no mater what. and sara, she was so quiet and nice. she wasnt the pretyest girl, but me and her were like sisters. i went over to her house every chance i got, and behind her house her neighbors had 4 horses. Trobles, Dinomight, A.J, and one more i cant remember his name. and we would go out and feed them grass that they could reach from behind the fence. my favorite was A.J, he was an old white horse, he was blind in one eye, but he never go spooked when you came up behind him without him knowing... Trobles died cause some kids did a prank and put glass in his food, A.J got sold, and i dont know what happened to the other 2. anyway sara was at my house one day and we were sitting in my room talking when she just started looking really sad so i asked "whats wronge?" and she said "my parents are getting a devorse, and i have to move to auburn with my dad." and she sighed and went on "we may never get to hang out again..." and i asked "why?" and she answered "Auburn is far away..." and i just shrugged it off and she went home and i didnt see her at school the next day, and the next, and the next ater that. i didnt see her untill 7th grade again and i saw her in the caffateria and i went up to her to say hi and she just said "Hey Serena!" and turned and talked with her friends somemore. so the next day i bought her a strawberry fruit snack which i knew she ike and i gave it to her and she threw it away...and the next day i heard her talking with one of here friends saying "Last night was great baby..." i later discovered that she was basicly a prostitute/ major druggie and that she was going to rehab and was doing alot of drugs. and from then on we just grew apart, and she left again and i havent seen her since. i basicly gave up on trying to keep friends too close because i dont want them to get ripped away agian, i just wish i had one friend that would always be there...and never ever go away.