Is he ignoring me? Did I make him mad? Did I say something wrong? I sent him a letter last night trying to explain somethings but... it seems either he didn't read it or he isn't going to reply and just act like I never even wrote it. He confuses me anymore. Why can't he speak openly about what the problem it. I know it is me. I know the reason he is depressed, or quiet, or whatever he felt the other day, it was because of me. I tried to talk to him but he just pushed me away. I didn't know how to help him. I feel horrible. I feel like there WAS something I coiuld have done. I sat with him for awhile and eventually began to get sad and depressed. The people who talk to me looked back to me and told me to come to them if he isn't going to let me help him. I'm horendous at comforting people, that is one thing I lack greatly of. I didn't want to hug or kiss him because everything between us has become awkward because we've become distant. I don't know what to think, I don't know how to act, I don't even know how to speak to him anymore. Why are things so mixed up and crazy anymore? Why can I have a casual day where my bf and myself are GREAT, where friends don't argue or speak about each other behind other's backs, a day where every trouble could melt away and I could spend time and have so much fun with ALL of my friends and bf. Like that will ever happen. I think I need to plan a huge picnic or something, maybe a camping trip over the summer and invite everyone. Yeah! I think that is what my Bf is doing right now, now that I think about it.... hm.... well I guess I'll find out later.
I went on the Race for the Cure walk with my Aunt Wendy who is currently in Kemo. It made me happy that she was able to do it. She lost all of her hair and is in a wheelchair, and she was having troubles talking. It was sad to see her in that condition but I'm glad all of our family is cheering for her and helping her. We ended up being dead last because of us being slow pushing Wendy around but the cops and volunteers remained out and clapped for all off us and walked behind us. They were so nice. They encouraged her and told her to NEVER give up.
Well I'm tired I had to get up at 4 this morning, giving me less them 4 hours of sleep. So I'll post later. Hopefully with better news. Saynora
From the little girl who cried wolf
View User's Journal
 |
