xX. -Sigh-
Alas I am quite distraught once more...
Things that shouldn't upset me, do, and the things that shouldn't cheer me up, do.
There must be something wrong in my mind to make me think such a way. I know holding onto faded feelings is not what I should be doing, but alas...I am. Someone spoke of return and now I find that all I can think of is him, I'll drive my car down the road of where he used to live, him, I'll see his brother around the town, him, I'll even just simply turn a corner, and there he is. Why must he still haunt my thoughts? Even after two years he's crept his way back into my mind. I can't stand it, why must I be so naive? His return is probably false anyhow..just another lie that someone has sung to me that I willingly believe. I know not all of the things that people tell me are lies, I know that a few do mean what they say, and for those, I thank you deary.. It's helped to keep the little faith that I still have for this sad little existence that I call mine. So many liars, so many broken promises..
Ah yes...broken promises..I don't know why I must believe such people, am I that naive, to trust someone that has obviously burnt me in the past, just over my feelings? Can I not turn against them and just break myself away? I've tried so hard to...But it seems I just can't... I want to run away from it all and just hope it'll all go away. But..I guess that's why those feelings are still there, I never really tried to banish them, I merely tucked them to the back of my head and went along with my business. But how can I get rid of something so strong? Something so strong as a first love? I want it to go away, I don't want to sit and cry over a broken promise that was never really a promise anyhow. I just don't want to anymore. It's not worth it and I know it's not, but yet I still do it. Why? Why can I not just banish it away like I have with the other feelings? I did once before, but now I can't? Have I grown too soft? Too naive? Too trusting?
I fear I might have.
But yet..I guess that's what some people like about me..I'll trust them on a first glance and I'll show them kindness and someone to laugh with..or at.. Ha, ha...
But yet, all is still up in the air, perhaps is return will be true? Perhaps I can break myself from the other's chains that seem to bind me to him still. Perhaps I can still break away? .Xx
Alas I am quite distraught once more...
Things that shouldn't upset me, do, and the things that shouldn't cheer me up, do.
There must be something wrong in my mind to make me think such a way. I know holding onto faded feelings is not what I should be doing, but alas...I am. Someone spoke of return and now I find that all I can think of is him, I'll drive my car down the road of where he used to live, him, I'll see his brother around the town, him, I'll even just simply turn a corner, and there he is. Why must he still haunt my thoughts? Even after two years he's crept his way back into my mind. I can't stand it, why must I be so naive? His return is probably false anyhow..just another lie that someone has sung to me that I willingly believe. I know not all of the things that people tell me are lies, I know that a few do mean what they say, and for those, I thank you deary.. It's helped to keep the little faith that I still have for this sad little existence that I call mine. So many liars, so many broken promises..
Ah yes...broken promises..I don't know why I must believe such people, am I that naive, to trust someone that has obviously burnt me in the past, just over my feelings? Can I not turn against them and just break myself away? I've tried so hard to...But it seems I just can't... I want to run away from it all and just hope it'll all go away. But..I guess that's why those feelings are still there, I never really tried to banish them, I merely tucked them to the back of my head and went along with my business. But how can I get rid of something so strong? Something so strong as a first love? I want it to go away, I don't want to sit and cry over a broken promise that was never really a promise anyhow. I just don't want to anymore. It's not worth it and I know it's not, but yet I still do it. Why? Why can I not just banish it away like I have with the other feelings? I did once before, but now I can't? Have I grown too soft? Too naive? Too trusting?
I fear I might have.
But yet..I guess that's what some people like about me..I'll trust them on a first glance and I'll show them kindness and someone to laugh with..or at.. Ha, ha...
But yet, all is still up in the air, perhaps is return will be true? Perhaps I can break myself from the other's chains that seem to bind me to him still. Perhaps I can still break away? .Xx
