Time has passed and everything has changed... well not EVERYTHING. I'm still somewhat the person I've been but in a way I think I have changed. Dispite all that has happened I'm still lost, if not, more.. I've made some more friends and I'm glad for that, I'm glad I've become really good friends with them, I don't know how they do it but they make me completely forget all the troubles I have... but then I have to come back home and I'm come back to the realization that I'm still lost, and then I convince myself that the happiness I get around them is false... which makes things even more complicated and I just don't know! I want to know real happiness, but inside I feel the only way I can feel it is somehow understand it. I have to understand what it is before I can feel it is. It's like giving someone a candy they've never had in their life nor heard of and expecting them to know what it is. I'm sure I've felt true happiness before but... I wouldn't know what it was because I don't know what true happiness is. I can explain it in words but there is no part of me that can recall what a feeling like that is... well... lets get off the gloomy side of life..
I'm going to Moa (Mall of america) I've almost got 600 dollars from working! 3 months of working my butt off has finally paid off! Mowing and working at the flower shop for like 7 to 8 hour shifts (I only make like 5 dollars an hour there *sigh* so I've HAD to work my butt off in order to reach my goal of 600 dollars. I'm so excited, I'm going to drive all the way down there and we are going to the amuzment park, but we are also going to the museum (My favorite part at going to new places, I want to go to the city park too!!! I'm so excited ^_^)
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