See, I wanted to raise a Magikarp. You all know and remember Magikarp, right? Sad, pathetic little s**t that really doesn't do anything in battle, but evolves into the most badass monster you could ever imagine? The thing that scares little children in their sleep? Well, if you don't, that's okay. Not a lot of people like Magikarp. And, because I like to annoy the crap out of people, I'm going to give you a picture to help you remember:
Now, we all know this poor creature's weak as hell, right? Well, this was MY genius idea. I planned to catch one on the lowest level (I have a lvl 18 one on FireRed that I caught on lvl 4, and I'm going to hatch one in Pearl on lvl 1) and raise it right up to level 99 just to PROVE to everyone in the world that Magikarp can be the most kickass monster to ever roam the gaming earth!
...and what a dumb idea that was. I'm on day 3 of training Excalibur, my FireRed Magikarp, and it's annoying the hell out of me. I remember clearly now why I hate Magikarp and why I use all my Rare Candies on them when I'm trying to get Gyarados. They're impossible to train! All they ever learn is Tackle or Flail, and unless I'm close to dying (for Flail), both moves don't do diddly-squat! The only thing Excalibur has going for her is that she has really good defense and decent speed for her level. But if she's fighting anything more than a lvl 8 Abra? Forget it, man, she'll never win a battle until she gets to lvl 50.
On Pearl, I'm still trying to breed my Gyarados, D'Loser (a ripoff of the name D'Joser, the name of an Egyptian pharaoh I'd seen on a History Channel Special) to get a fresh, level 1 Magikarp and I'm hoping for some better luck. I'm also hoping I can get a buttload of money so I can constantly pump the little guy up with vitamins and HP-ups. Let's face it, if I'm going to do this right, I'll need all the help I can get. I won a Metronome at the Game Corner, which boosts the power of a move used repeatedly. Since all my Magikarp will probably use is Tackle, you can see why I wasted the time getting the coins for the Metronome. Maybe it'll help him when I start challenging people with him.
So, at the bottom of it, when I finally plug in an hour of hopelessly training Excalibur and breeding D'Loser, I have to ask myself: Why am I doing this? Why am I needlessly giving myself a giant headache trying to train Magikarp? Why didn't I choose Feebas? Well, because of you guys, most probably. Now, I'm not saying you DO hate Magikarp, but 90% of pokemon trainers can't stand training it until it evolves into the raging, volatile nightmare that is Gyarados. I'm doing this to show everyone that, yes, with a little love, a lot of money, and even more battles, Magikarp can kick as much a** as a Giratina.
Just think of the pure SHOCK on everyone's faces when they battle me, only to see that they were totally decimented by a MAGIKARP! They'll be going "...whoa! I NEVER expected such a weak pokemon to beat the crap out of me!" Trust me, their expressions will be totally worth it. And if it isn't, I'll just fight them again until it is. :3 Aren't I nice that way?
So, yeah, if you all happen upon a trainer named Sami with a Magikarp named Excalibur or Masamune, that's me. That's totally, 100% me right there. So be ready, and don't let Magikarp's blank stare deceive you. These guys are going to be the best one day. Granted, all other pokemon will need to be dead and cease to exist, but one day, it will happen. And I'll know all my frustration and gaming skillz were worth it.
:3 Oh yeah, and the reason I didn't choose a Feebas was because Feebas evolves into a really awesome pokemon. Gyarados is okay, but I don't tend to use them very much, anyway.
So... will YOU start your own Magikarp challenge? Will you cheer me on in mine? Or, will you be one of the many victims that Masamune will lay waste to? YOU DECIDE!
So, until then, I'll keep cramming in the levels for my Magikarp.
