Mood: sleeeeeeeepy.
Song: Until the Day I Die; Story of the Year
I talked to youuuu last night.
It was awkward...Well at first it felt awkward to me.
I didn't think you'd even call haha.
I was like "Why am I even telling him that I miss his voice, he's not gonna call and I'm just going to be all disappointed."
I wanted to talk about what happened, sort of.
But at the same time I just wanted to talk, and just...It was nice.
The more I think about it though, the more I feel selfish.
I want you back so badly.
But Zak made a good point, the distance was killing us.
Am I being selfish for making to rethink your decision?
I just...Feel like we're different than his situation with Brittney.
Maybe I just want to make myself look right and everyone wrong, so we don't have to be separated.
Or maybe we just don't need the title of actual 'boyfriend/girlfriend'
It does come with responsibility and promises - hard to keep when we live far away from each other.
But I want to be number one to you. Forever.
Its so selfish, I'm sorry.
Its like we're ******** Romeo and Juliet lmao.
Except our families aren't trying to keep us apart - its just the thousands of miles.
They overcame it right?
...Well in a bad way...Let's not do that. haha.
I still feel like I should give you till Tuesday.
I wonder if you'll change your mind.
Maybe we DON'T need the title until we can actually be face to face.
But then I know we'd just be friends with benefits. Kait made a good point that I could just say no.
...I would probably fail though. Its so hard to deny you, omfg.
I'm scared last night was just your way of saying goodbye.
Just one last night of being happy and laughing with each other.
I hope not.
I'm torn.
I know I'll always love you, even if you decide to not give us another shot.
I just don't know if I COULD go without being your friend or anything.
I can try I suppose.
...I honestly don't want to though.
But I feel like it would be better, for the both of us.
Who knows what's best for us at this point.
I'll just wait until Tuesday for your reply.
I wonder what you're thinking as you read this haha.
It was nice to hear your voice again, and to just be silly with each other.
I love you.
Such a little sentence composed of just three words that makes such an impact on someone, when said in the right context and said with the right kind of emotion.
I wanna talk to you.
I wanna consume your time.
Oh, I just don't know what to do..
I don't want to be selfish if this isn't what you want.
But I don't want to lose you.
Btw.
Ramsey asked me what happened.
It pissed me off to no end. Just because Connor and I had a fight doesn't mean you can get all up in my business. And no it doesn't mean I'll ever ******** date you, little b***h.
Ugh all these annoying thoughts.
I can't even write them all down.
I don't know where to start.
And I don't understand either, Connor.
I don't know if you kept saying that in relation to us. BUT I KINDA FIGURED YOU WERE.
I wish we could both just understand what to do with each other.
Because clearly we can't live without one another.
And clearly we can't handle the distance.
...Or maybe we can? We just haven't tried really hard.
And ******** you. ):
I hate it when you just start something and you just say nvm or idk.
You ALWAYS do that!
I do it too, but eventually you drag it out of me.
You know you can talk to me, even if it hurts me.
I wanna help you. Regardless if I get stung.
Maybe I could help, if you just said what you were thinking. Geez.
Song: Until the Day I Die; Story of the Year
I talked to youuuu last night.
It was awkward...Well at first it felt awkward to me.
I didn't think you'd even call haha.
I was like "Why am I even telling him that I miss his voice, he's not gonna call and I'm just going to be all disappointed."
I wanted to talk about what happened, sort of.
But at the same time I just wanted to talk, and just...It was nice.
The more I think about it though, the more I feel selfish.
I want you back so badly.
But Zak made a good point, the distance was killing us.
Am I being selfish for making to rethink your decision?
I just...Feel like we're different than his situation with Brittney.
Maybe I just want to make myself look right and everyone wrong, so we don't have to be separated.
Or maybe we just don't need the title of actual 'boyfriend/girlfriend'
It does come with responsibility and promises - hard to keep when we live far away from each other.
But I want to be number one to you. Forever.
Its so selfish, I'm sorry.
Its like we're ******** Romeo and Juliet lmao.
Except our families aren't trying to keep us apart - its just the thousands of miles.
They overcame it right?
...Well in a bad way...Let's not do that. haha.
I still feel like I should give you till Tuesday.
I wonder if you'll change your mind.
Maybe we DON'T need the title until we can actually be face to face.
But then I know we'd just be friends with benefits. Kait made a good point that I could just say no.
...I would probably fail though. Its so hard to deny you, omfg.
I'm scared last night was just your way of saying goodbye.
Just one last night of being happy and laughing with each other.
I hope not.
I'm torn.
I know I'll always love you, even if you decide to not give us another shot.
I just don't know if I COULD go without being your friend or anything.
I can try I suppose.
...I honestly don't want to though.
But I feel like it would be better, for the both of us.
Who knows what's best for us at this point.
I'll just wait until Tuesday for your reply.
I wonder what you're thinking as you read this haha.
It was nice to hear your voice again, and to just be silly with each other.
I love you.
Such a little sentence composed of just three words that makes such an impact on someone, when said in the right context and said with the right kind of emotion.
I wanna talk to you.
I wanna consume your time.
Oh, I just don't know what to do..
I don't want to be selfish if this isn't what you want.
But I don't want to lose you.
Btw.
Ramsey asked me what happened.
It pissed me off to no end. Just because Connor and I had a fight doesn't mean you can get all up in my business. And no it doesn't mean I'll ever ******** date you, little b***h.
Ugh all these annoying thoughts.
I can't even write them all down.
I don't know where to start.
And I don't understand either, Connor.
I don't know if you kept saying that in relation to us. BUT I KINDA FIGURED YOU WERE.
I wish we could both just understand what to do with each other.
Because clearly we can't live without one another.
And clearly we can't handle the distance.
...Or maybe we can? We just haven't tried really hard.
And ******** you. ):
I hate it when you just start something and you just say nvm or idk.
You ALWAYS do that!
I do it too, but eventually you drag it out of me.
You know you can talk to me, even if it hurts me.
I wanna help you. Regardless if I get stung.
Maybe I could help, if you just said what you were thinking. Geez.
