Mood: I have no idea
Song: Swing Life Away; Rise Against
I like this song.
I've probably said that so many times in my journal haha.
I always listen to it when I wanna think about stuff.
I guess because I can relate to it so well.
I think unconsciously. we always like the song that we can relate to.
...Unless its just like a song EVERYONE likes.
I've just noticed that when people really like a song it usually deals with something or someone in their life. Maybe I read into things too deep.
I'm kinda scared.
Why do I even try to change your decisions?
You're so stubborn that you usually never change your mind, or go back on what you said.
Maybe I should stop wishing and start forgetting about you.
But I know I'll give myself tonight to just think about everything.
Sometimes I think I go out of my way to think about stuff that will hurt me.
I don't know why I do it, but I do.
I know tonight all I'll get from you is silence.
I don't want to hope for anything more, because if you do just give me silence, it will just be harder to take..
Everyone keeps asking me if I'm mad at you.
But I'm not.
I can't.
I love you.
Even if we can't date. Or even talk anymore.
I love you nonetheless.
I never thought the day would come when we had to go our separate ways.
Maybe that was just me living in my fantasy world.
I figured that if I couldn't have you as a boyfriend, I'd always at least have you as a best friend.
I don't wanna lose you ughhh.
But at the same time, I'm tired of us always getting hurt.
I'm tired of seeing you hurt, and I'm tired of feeling this heart ache.
Perhaps its selfish.
Maybe since both of us always gravitate towards each other, I shouldn't do this.
I honestly don't know.
I want to go into hiding and have you come to me.
But I don't know if I'll answer you anymore.
I'm scared and I feel stupid for being scared.
I feel stupid for being hopeful.
I miss everything about these past months.
Zak says I'm strong.
But when it comes to you I feel so weak.
My heart hurts.
And just like that, life goes back to its mundane cycle.
Song: Swing Life Away; Rise Against
I like this song.
I've probably said that so many times in my journal haha.
I always listen to it when I wanna think about stuff.
I guess because I can relate to it so well.
I think unconsciously. we always like the song that we can relate to.
...Unless its just like a song EVERYONE likes.
I've just noticed that when people really like a song it usually deals with something or someone in their life. Maybe I read into things too deep.
I'm kinda scared.
Why do I even try to change your decisions?
You're so stubborn that you usually never change your mind, or go back on what you said.
Maybe I should stop wishing and start forgetting about you.
But I know I'll give myself tonight to just think about everything.
Sometimes I think I go out of my way to think about stuff that will hurt me.
I don't know why I do it, but I do.
I know tonight all I'll get from you is silence.
I don't want to hope for anything more, because if you do just give me silence, it will just be harder to take..
Everyone keeps asking me if I'm mad at you.
But I'm not.
I can't.
I love you.
Even if we can't date. Or even talk anymore.
I love you nonetheless.
I never thought the day would come when we had to go our separate ways.
Maybe that was just me living in my fantasy world.
I figured that if I couldn't have you as a boyfriend, I'd always at least have you as a best friend.
I don't wanna lose you ughhh.
But at the same time, I'm tired of us always getting hurt.
I'm tired of seeing you hurt, and I'm tired of feeling this heart ache.
Perhaps its selfish.
Maybe since both of us always gravitate towards each other, I shouldn't do this.
I honestly don't know.
I want to go into hiding and have you come to me.
But I don't know if I'll answer you anymore.
I'm scared and I feel stupid for being scared.
I feel stupid for being hopeful.
I miss everything about these past months.
Zak says I'm strong.
But when it comes to you I feel so weak.
My heart hurts.
And just like that, life goes back to its mundane cycle.
