Why is it that I don't feel completely quenched?
I'm feel'n a little lonely today.
Could I sacrifice so much.
I wonder what color you are.
The color you feel when you think of me.
Is that weird to think?
To think of emotions in a sense of just colors?
To wonder what color people feel?
Colors describe things to me better than words.
As right now I am green.
It bothers me.
The green comes and goes, but for some reason it flares up for a dumb ******** reason.
I can't believe I can't get over the past.
I can't believe I still get green over Kait and Connor.
Its because I know she's adorable and lovable.
She's got the same charm as her mother.
Its dumb to get jealous over her though.
The past is the past.
And this green needs to fade.
Makes me worried though.
I wonder if his color is the same for the both of us.
It would make sense though.
We're the two people who have been in his life for quite sometime.
That pink color.
I hope its pink.
I just feel like there's two kinds of pinks - the rosier colored pink and a lighter, pale pink.
He cares for her as I do. A pale pink. A love almost like she really is my daughter.
Weird to think of her like that sense we're almost the same age.
Would it be weird to ask him what color he feels about me?
He could give me all the love that he gives me now.
And I could survive. That would be enough.
So maybe I shouldn't ask.
Keep the hush-hush.
But could I survive with just that?
I've always been a curious person. I need to know what THIS is.
Or are we just using each other, holding one another to whisper to each other.
Faux lovers. Fooling one another to fall into each other's trap.
When all along we're stuck in our own.
I don't believe either of us would be so shallow.
Then again who's to say?
There's darker sides to people.
Darker than anyone could ever guess.
I've got my darkness.
He's got his.
She's got her's.
We're always just masses of swirling colors.
I'm too needy for what I have.
I want to run away for a moment and think.
I need to feel my colors. The true colors.
Its always fading and morphing.
Pink into blue into green into pink.
I'm always feeling like no one here understands me.
Or gets me.
Maybe its just that I don't understand myself, still.
I want someone to tell me what to do.
Is that so I can blame them when things go rotten?
Or am I just afraid?
How do I talk to someone, when everyone around me is so biased.
When did things become so corrupt?
I probably shouldn't even worry.
But boy does it drive me crazy, I wish I could see emotions in colors.
That way I could always know how someone felt.
Maybe the world should be like that.
Then, maybe then, we could live happily.
But we all know, that it wouldn't be perfect.
Even if you could see how someone was feeling from their color, and you knew for a fact their emotion was real, we'd still find someway to mess s**t up.
Its what the goddamn human race does.
********. s**t. Up.
I don't even know what I want from you anymore.
Well I do, I'm just afraid of asking for more for fear you'd deny it.
I don't think I'm using you.
I've done that to only one person.
And I was disgusted in myself for doing that to him, so I swore I'd never ever do it again.
I'd rather live alone by myself than use someone.
I lost sight of what was real and what wasn't.
I lost that part of myself I understood, basically I royally ******** myself up.
Life would be so much easier if I was face to face with everyone.
Especially you.
Its hard to hide what's clearly written on your face.
And I'm pretty good and peeling away until I can see your color.
No matter how hard you try.
...Why am I so possess of my friends?
I'm possessive over EVERYTHING.
Its like I want them in my kingdom, and no one else can come inside.
I'm just realizing I'm not just this way with Connor, but with everyone.
Beth. Brittney. Kait.
Good god.
This is definitely a negative trait. That I gotta deal with.
I don't know how though.
I get so upset that Brittney has someone she can rely on that lives there. That she puts up with and even loves that man who will remain unmentioned.
I hate that Beth is dating David. I don't think he deserves her. I actually just dislike everyone she dates.
I'm possessive over Connor, I worry that he goes out and does s**t at parties...
I get jealous over how Kait feels for Bri, though I could never get that mad over it because her and bri are like connor and i.
Jesus.
Maybe its because most of my friends up and moved away when I was little.
So now I'm super possessive over everyone...?
But you don't work here anymore,
It's just a vacant 3 by 4,
they might fill your place,
A temporary stand in for you face,
This happens all the time,
And I can't help but think I'll die alone.
Sometimes I think I'll die alone.
I think I'd love to die alone.
So many random useless thoughts.
I sit here writing down useless things that I'll never change.
That people can relate to,
But they'll never change.
We live in such a hustle and bustle world,
But honestly, honestly how many of us get up and move?
I'm feel'n a little lonely today.
Could I sacrifice so much.
I wonder what color you are.
The color you feel when you think of me.
Is that weird to think?
To think of emotions in a sense of just colors?
To wonder what color people feel?
Colors describe things to me better than words.
As right now I am green.
It bothers me.
The green comes and goes, but for some reason it flares up for a dumb ******** reason.
I can't believe I can't get over the past.
I can't believe I still get green over Kait and Connor.
Its because I know she's adorable and lovable.
She's got the same charm as her mother.
Its dumb to get jealous over her though.
The past is the past.
And this green needs to fade.
Makes me worried though.
I wonder if his color is the same for the both of us.
It would make sense though.
We're the two people who have been in his life for quite sometime.
That pink color.
I hope its pink.
I just feel like there's two kinds of pinks - the rosier colored pink and a lighter, pale pink.
He cares for her as I do. A pale pink. A love almost like she really is my daughter.
Weird to think of her like that sense we're almost the same age.
Would it be weird to ask him what color he feels about me?
He could give me all the love that he gives me now.
And I could survive. That would be enough.
So maybe I shouldn't ask.
Keep the hush-hush.
But could I survive with just that?
I've always been a curious person. I need to know what THIS is.
Or are we just using each other, holding one another to whisper to each other.
Faux lovers. Fooling one another to fall into each other's trap.
When all along we're stuck in our own.
I don't believe either of us would be so shallow.
Then again who's to say?
There's darker sides to people.
Darker than anyone could ever guess.
I've got my darkness.
He's got his.
She's got her's.
We're always just masses of swirling colors.
I'm too needy for what I have.
I want to run away for a moment and think.
I need to feel my colors. The true colors.
Its always fading and morphing.
Pink into blue into green into pink.
I'm always feeling like no one here understands me.
Or gets me.
Maybe its just that I don't understand myself, still.
I want someone to tell me what to do.
Is that so I can blame them when things go rotten?
Or am I just afraid?
How do I talk to someone, when everyone around me is so biased.
When did things become so corrupt?
I probably shouldn't even worry.
But boy does it drive me crazy, I wish I could see emotions in colors.
That way I could always know how someone felt.
Maybe the world should be like that.
Then, maybe then, we could live happily.
But we all know, that it wouldn't be perfect.
Even if you could see how someone was feeling from their color, and you knew for a fact their emotion was real, we'd still find someway to mess s**t up.
Its what the goddamn human race does.
********. s**t. Up.
I don't even know what I want from you anymore.
Well I do, I'm just afraid of asking for more for fear you'd deny it.
I don't think I'm using you.
I've done that to only one person.
And I was disgusted in myself for doing that to him, so I swore I'd never ever do it again.
I'd rather live alone by myself than use someone.
I lost sight of what was real and what wasn't.
I lost that part of myself I understood, basically I royally ******** myself up.
Life would be so much easier if I was face to face with everyone.
Especially you.
Its hard to hide what's clearly written on your face.
And I'm pretty good and peeling away until I can see your color.
No matter how hard you try.
...Why am I so possess of my friends?
I'm possessive over EVERYTHING.
Its like I want them in my kingdom, and no one else can come inside.
I'm just realizing I'm not just this way with Connor, but with everyone.
Beth. Brittney. Kait.
Good god.
This is definitely a negative trait. That I gotta deal with.
I don't know how though.
I get so upset that Brittney has someone she can rely on that lives there. That she puts up with and even loves that man who will remain unmentioned.
I hate that Beth is dating David. I don't think he deserves her. I actually just dislike everyone she dates.
I'm possessive over Connor, I worry that he goes out and does s**t at parties...
I get jealous over how Kait feels for Bri, though I could never get that mad over it because her and bri are like connor and i.
Jesus.
Maybe its because most of my friends up and moved away when I was little.
So now I'm super possessive over everyone...?
But you don't work here anymore,
It's just a vacant 3 by 4,
they might fill your place,
A temporary stand in for you face,
This happens all the time,
And I can't help but think I'll die alone.
Sometimes I think I'll die alone.
I think I'd love to die alone.
So many random useless thoughts.
I sit here writing down useless things that I'll never change.
That people can relate to,
But they'll never change.
We live in such a hustle and bustle world,
But honestly, honestly how many of us get up and move?
